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People Like to Smoke Crack, Too

It's enjoyable and there's not an alternative product.

The Altria Group, better known as Philip-Morris, is "spinning off" the Kraft portion of the business to shareholders cause they feel that it's really just a drag on their profits.

"Something that is forgotten in all of this is people like to smoke," said David Adelman, a Morgan Stanley analyst, noting that U.S. tobacco stocks have beaten the Standard & Poor's 500-stock index in each of the last six years. "It's enjoyable and there's not an alternative product."

He added: "If frozen dinners get too expensive, people will try something else. That's not true with cigarettes -- you are not up at night worried about that product that is going to make cigarettes obsolete."

One might point out that the reason for this is that cigarettes are addictive. Like crack. Or heroin. Or that other socially acceptable drug - alcohol. So, yeah, i can see how a flunctuation in price might not affect tobacco sales. It's good to capitalize on someone's illness. Afterall, even if you don't, someone else will. You might as well get in on it. At least you donate money to the local charity every christmas.

Now, just because their legally addictive product is doing well all around the world doesn't mean Philip-Morris is resting on its laurels. No, no. They continue to work hard to bring you new and innovative waves to get your nicotine fix.

It also hopes eventually to lure consumers with new tobacco products, including a small tea-bag-like pouch that is smoke- free, spit-free and tucks into the cheek.

And so that you can get an idea of the mentality of the people involved,

"The exciting part for me," said Bonnie Herzog, an analyst at Citigroup, "is that tobacco use today will evolve. It's unlikely that there will ever be a 100 percent safe cigarette, but we feel that a reduced-risk cigarette is on the horizon."

Dear Bonnie. You're an idiot and conscienceless. I hope you don't pass on your genetic material. Enjoy your wealth, you dosey cow.

By min | January 31, 2007, 9:14 AM | Liberal Outrage


Comments

I totally agree 100%! People do like to smoke. And drink. As a matter of fact, I'd like to be smoking and drinking right now. I'll have to pass of the crack and heroin though, I'm not rich enough to take in all of life's vices, and priorities are priorities.