Hey you kids! Cut that crap out!
I know who your parents are!
You wouldn't do this if Nixon were in the White House!
C'mon! I'm the walrus, dammit!

A young watusi watches 'I Love Lucy'
And I think 'what can this mean?'
A goat goes to school
And makes us look like fools
And I think 'what can this mean?'

They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!

Sold my niece to Edwin Meese
And I wonder what life's about
Talked of tires
While your dog caught fire
And I wonder what life's about

They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!

Yeah! Some nights I'm lying in bed,
wonderin' what would happen if Nancy Sinatra suddenly freaked out and
climbed a tree and decided she doesn't want to do 'These Boots are Made for
Walking' any more, and all she ever wanted to do for the rest of her natural
life was hum the 'Theme from S.W.A.T'.

They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!

Poke out your eyes and move to Portland
Kill your wife and move to Portland
Burn down your home and move to Portland
Come on everybody!
We're movin' to Portland!

They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
They call me the walrus!
Yeah I am the walrus!