Never mind the train. There are much more interesting things to talk about.

Four would be too few. Ten would be too many. Five or nine would presumably produce an unaesthetic, wonky effect.

So the smiling attendants on the test run of the Beijing to Shanghai high-speed rail link revealed precisely six to eight of their teeth to display their pleasure as the train pulled out of the capital. It had, admitted chief conductor Gao Dan, taken considerable practice; in some cases, with chopsticks jammed between their jaws.

If the Chinese hadn't spent generations perfecting their ability to be inscrutable, mebbe this would have been easier.

I'm extremely curious as to how exactly the use of chopsticks could possibly have aided in this endeavor. I might have to go home and try it for myself.

Beijing's ambassador to the UK suggested last week that Chinese firms could help build a high-speed line between London, the Midlands and the north, saying the country had "the knowledge, expertise and experience".

"Of course! There's no argument," Xu declared when asked whether Britain should buy Chinese.

"China should be the first choice."

Damn skippy!