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Where does Joe find the time?

For reasons unknown to all, friend Wanyas receives a weird apocalyptic christian (and anti-Catholic) magazine called The Philadelphia Trumpet in the mail. He passes them on to me, because i enjoy the insanity of it. Most articles talk scoldingingly about how some politician (usually German, plotting to restore the Holy Roman Empire) is doing something that the editors don't approve of and then, after expressing their disapproval, they reveal that they knew all along that this is what would happen because it says so in the Bible, so write to them for a free booklet. There's no logical disconnect for them between "It's wrong for them to do X" and "the Bible prophesied that they would do X, so they didn't really have a choice in the matter".

Sometimes, though, the articles get more into people's personal lives, and the most recent one had a diatribe against smart phones. It was enjoyable mainly for the imagery that depicted the article's author sitting in the middle of a crowded restaurant where everyone except him and his family sat silently and stared at their smartphones instead of talking to each other, but beyond that, i really enjoyed this passage:

Phones today go way beyond dial and talk. They are a very real, very visual doorway from Joe's website to your child or teenager's impressionable mind.

You know Joe? Conspiracy theorist, homegrown terrorist, bomb-making, Columbine-celebrating, pornography distributing, cop-killing, gangsta wannabe, self-mutilating, Satan-worshiping, general all-around-fun-guy Joe? Yes, that Joe! The one you unwittingly introduced your 9-year-old daughter to when you bought her the latest smartphone...

Honestly, i can barely keep up a regular pace on my Marvel Timeline Project and do my SuperMegaSpeed Reviews on this site at the same time. I don't know how Joe manages to get all that done. I'm really letting you guys down, and i apologize for it. If you stop coming here and start heading over to Joe's, i'll understand.

By fnord12 | February 25, 2012, 1:05 PM | Ummm... Other?

Reference from SuperMegaMonkey

If you aren't yet familiar with my Philadelphia Trumpet fascination, see here and here. After a while, it does get kind of tedious, since they are basically pushing the same strange theory every issue. But never before has the theory...    Read More: In which the Philadelphia Trumpet acknowledges its Gary Gygax influence