I recently bought Mail-Order Mysteries, a fun book that goes through all the ads for things like X-Ray Spex in old comic books and explains what you actually got. And while, as you'd expect, there's a big gap between promise and delivery on most of the products, these two, i think, would have been truly soul-crushing to anyone who managed to convince their parents to order them.

The first is from a very common ad. And you wouldn't think there'd be a bait and switch on this one. I mean, how much cheaper can you get than plastic soldiers?

Answer: flat plastic soldiers.

The second one is just... i mean... that's just not fair.

Here's a blow-up of the "you must agree that these giant dinosaurs are everything that we say..." copy.