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My first choice is a strong consumer agency. My second choice is no agency at all and plenty of blood and teeth left on the floor.
-- Elizabeth Warren (March 2010)

   
 

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    My first choice is a strong consumer agency. My second choice is no agency at all and plenty of blood and teeth left on the floor.
    -- Elizabeth Warren (March 2010)


    We await you, merry gnome.
    -- Omsk, Russia (February 2010)


    Your RODNEY NEEDS LOVE Clearing House


    Trying to have a conversation with you would be like arguing with a dining room table.
    -- Congressman Barney Frank (August 19, 2009)


    Every time you think you weaken the nation.
    -- Moe, Three Stooges: Half-Shot Shooters, 1936


    Is anybody here a Shriner? I'm Lieutenant Colombo, police department... I could use some help. Is anybody here a Shriner or does anybody know a Shriner?
    -- Peter Falk, Requiem For A Falling Star


    One thing's for sure: we're all going to be a lot thinner.
    -- Han Solo


    The left in this country has been successfully cowed by the Democratic Party. The votes of progressives are taken for granted by Democrats.... By allowing ourselves to be manipulated, we have demonstrated that we have no moral substance. We have no line that can be never be crossed, no stance so sacred and important that we are willing to stand up and fight back.
    -- Ralph Nader, as quoted in The Nation


    All i knew about football was my dad always said it was "like chess". I knew how to play chess. That wasn't chess.
    -- fnord12


    As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?
    -- Sarah Palin, Republican VP Nominee 2008


    You can't play that wink I squopped it YOU CAN'T PLAY THAT WINK!!!
    -- Mitt Romney (sort of)


    He has five or six brains which are remarkably irrigated.
    -- Carla Bruni-Sarkozy (regarding husband President Nicolas Sarkozy)


    Victoria Switzer, a retired social studies teacher, was on phone-bank duty one night during the Pennsylvania primary campaign...She made 60 calls to prospective voters in Susquehanna County, her home county, which is 98 percent white...One caller, Switzer remembers, said he couldn’t possibly vote for Obama and concluded: "Hang that darkie from a tree!"
    -- Washington Post (May 13, 2008)


    I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran. In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them.
    -- Hillary Clinton (April 22, 2008)


    Love with robots will be as normal as love with other humans, while the number of sexual acts and lovemaking positions commonly practiced between humans will be extended, as robots teach us more than is in all of the world's published sex manuals combined.
    -- David Levy, Love + Sex With Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships


    The simple fact is our civilization puts no value on rest.
    -- B.F. Skinner, Walden Two


    Give me a break! I've got news for all the latte-drinking, Prius-driving, Birkenstock-wearing, trust fund babies crowding in to hear him speak! This guy won't last a round against the Republican attack machine. He's a poet, not a fighter.
    -- Tom Buffenbarger, Clinton surrogate and Machinists union President


    Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.
    -- Clare Booth Luce, courtesy of The Order, issue #5, Marvel Comics


    Koffing!
    -- Koffing


    Wansa wansa wansa wansa peanut butter.
    -- Anonymous


    Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do.
    -- Rudolph Guiliani


    One. We are one. One is the beginning. Are you one, Herbert?
    -- Star Trek, The Way to Eden (Episode 75)


    Reticulating splines
    -- SimCity 2000


    Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.
    Henchman 21: Oh my God, you're crazy! They're so obviously mammals!
    Henchman 24: Please! She'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs.
    Henchman 21: Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They're mammals!
    -- The Venture Bros.


    The only thing worse than getting another Bush would be getting someone Bush outsmarted.
    -- Mark Gisleson, Norwegianity.com


    Snake? Snake?
    -- Felippa


    Well, I'm the vice president, and they're not.
    -- Dick Cheney


    It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
    -- Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything


    That'sh a Shmith & Weshon and you've had your shix.
    -- Shean Connery, Dr. No


    As much as I don't want to talk about Electronic Arts three days in a row, if they're going to keep exposing their flank, then I'm going to take the bonus to hit.
    -- Tycho, Penny Arcade


        

    Just like Clor or Thone, which ever you prefer, putting a thunderbold through Goliath, so has a thunderbolt been put through my last bits of hope for this being a great Marvel event. I have now dropped this from my pull list.
    -- Onslaught


    [Baseball] is a game with a lot of waiting in it; it is a game with increasingly heightened anticipation of increasingly limited action.
    -- Johnny Wheelwright, A Prayer for Owen Meany


    I forgot that pillows don't have to smell like feet. You know, I have to say, I think it's good I did this hostel thing in my thirties, and I'll tell you why...If I had done it in my twenties or teens, I would've been naïve enough to think that hostels were exotic and romantic. But once you're in your thirties, you've lived enough to know they're gross and should be avoided at all costs.
    -- Lorelei Gilmore, Gilmore Girls


    Who are the brain police?
    -- Frank Zappa


    We think it's important that, in doing that, they try to limit as much as possible the so-called collateral damage, not only on civilians but also on human lives
    -- Tony Snow, struggling for coherency


    Come on baby... (Don't feed the meter)
    Baby take my hand... (Don't feed the meter)
    Let's get the hell out of Dublin... (Don't feed the meter)
    Baby, they can all go to hell


    White conservative judge, Princeton grad with excellent career prospects, ISO submissive SWF for politically useful marriage and occasional strip search. No Democrats, feminazis, fatties. Pro-life views desirable but not required. Must be able to cry on cue. Respond to "Sammy," c/o Federalist Society, Washington DC.
    -- Billmon


    Asked by NBC's Brian Williams to defend predictions that "the U.S. would be welcomed as liberators" in Iraq, President Bush replied, "I think we are welcomed. But it was not a peaceful welcome."


    Any loincloth will do.
    -- shmoo


    When Bush unveiled his Faith Biased Initiatives, Robertson told his loyal 700 club audience that money from the feds was 'like a narcotic' and that charities would get hooked on them. Months later, Pat was rolling up his sleeve and praying for an uncollapsed vein.
    -- www.fucktaxday.com


    To sweep the cooked grains into the mouth, and to serve the cut-up morsels of the meat-and-vegetable dishes, chopsticks have proved more serviceable than hands or other instruments (such as spoons and forks, the former being used in China alongside the chopsticks).
    -- K.C. Chang