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Evangelical Harry Potter

I don't really think this needs any commentary from me.

"I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing, but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to," Grace Ann wrote on FanFiction.net. "My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books and of course I'm happy for them to be reading, but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought 'Why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly?' And then I thought 'Why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem?' So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you!"

Jezebel goes on to quote parts of the book. The writing is pretty spectacularly terrible and that's without even considering the awkwardly shoehorned Christianesque additions. Those are spectacularly terrible in their own right, but at least they're amusing.

Christians are people who want to be good," Hagrid explained wisely; and crouched down so he was on eye level with Harry. "We want to go to heaven after we die. Do you know what heaven is, Harry?"

Harry shook his head; and his big eyes were wide and curious.

"Heaven is a beautiful place where we can be with God."

Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry's young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, "Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. Haven't you heard of Evolution? I have a very good textbook on Evolution that I could give you on it if you would like to learn things."

Hagrid laughed wisely. "Evolution is a fairytale. You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Yes, I do!" Aunt Petunia screeched.

"Well then prove it!"

Aunt Petunia could only stare at him; and her big mouth hung open dumbly. Here she thought she was so educated; and always demanded that Christians prove what they believed in; but she couldn't even prove her own religion. It was then that Harry knew who the smart one here was!

Yes! Science, socialism, and birthdays! Atheism rocks!

By min | September 24, 2014, 12:18 PM | Boooooks | Link

Something for the ladies

We've all seen the Milo Manara Spider-Woman cover, so it's only fair to give something back. Here's how the Drama Channel advertises Pride & Prejudice.

Obsession with that particular scene has apparently reached gigantic and terrifying proportions.

By fnord12 | September 6, 2014, 12:20 PM | Boooooks & TeeVee | Comments (6)| Link

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