Marvel Two-In-One #79
Issue(s): Marvel Two-In-One #79
It's because of the villain of this piece, Shanga the Star-Dancer.
And her problem is that she's a cosmic space traveler, up there in the Silver Surfer range, but she's lost. I really like that problem. See, my plan after i finish this Marvel timeline project is to develop some super-powers of my own - i'm thinking something like Apocalypse's power to control his own body molecules - and then blast off into space and explore the universe. But i don't want my super-powers to affect my mind, because i'd be afraid of affecting my charming personality. So i'm not sure how i expect to get around in space without getting lost (because i'll need to come back to Earth at some point to clear out the spam comments here). Space is really big. I think it would be pretty easy to get lost even in our own solar system without computer equipment, and once you get beyond that it seems really difficult. So i've always wondered how guys like Superman or Monica Rambeau Captain Marvel can navigate in space without cosmic awareness or something similar. So it's nice to see that Star-Dancer is lost even though she "was bred to wield the stellar matrix-sense" which tingles when she approaches something of interest. I mean, not nice. I'd rather see that she'd solved the problem somehow. But it does confirm my suspicions.
Anyway, her matrix-sense tingles when she nears Earth, and when she sees that it's a (barely, by her telling) civilized planet, she wonders if it's one that her people, who in the past have been known to engage in genetic manipulation on other worlds, may have been here.
So she approaches the fishing village of Hartsdale, Massachusetts, where the Thing and Alicia happen to be vacationing, and where the septuagenarian Blue Diamond happens to be living. She seals off the town while the Thing is on the outskirts of it, and he spends a good portion of the issue pounding against a forcefield. But the nasty locals, who saw Alicia with Ben, turn on the poor blind woman, and Blue Diamond has to come out of retirement to stop them.
That's when the Thing manages to get through the forcefield, and he gets into a fight with Star-Dancer.
Blue Diamond recovers from his near-heart attack long enough to ask the Thing to throw him at her.
And when they connect, the Star-Dancer finds a kindred spirit in Blue Diamond, so she turns him into a literal diamond man and sails off into space with him.
I think we all know that Jack Kirby somehow pulled a fast one on us. He somehow made a guy on a surfboard totally awesome by making him a cosmic space surf-boarder. But do we really have to explain every time a Gaard or a Star-Dancer comes along that it was a one shot pass? Even Kirby couldn't really pull it off again with Black Racer. I don't think anyone else should even have been trying.
That said, if for some strange reason i haven't developed my Apocalypse powers by age 73, if someone wants to come along and transform me into a cosmic space diamond man, i'm ok with it.
Quality Rating: C
Chronological Placement Considerations: The MCP places this between Fantastic Four #233-234.
Continuity Insert? N
My Reprint: N/A
Yet another marvel character who gets taken to the Stranger's world. That Quasar run of issues is something I'm looking forward to having FNORD review.
Posted by: clyde | February 24, 2015 4:28 PM
I know that Marvel's "New Universe" line is outside the scope of this project, but there's a bit at the end of Star Brand #6 with the same problem: the normally earth-bound hero (who routinely gets lost flying, because he doesn't have a road atlas) gets into a fight in outer space . . . and then can't find the Earth. It is both hilarious and terrifying, and sadly Roy Thomas sucks out all of the drama when he writes the solution to the cliffhanger.
Posted by: James Nostack | July 10, 2015 5:24 PM
A happy ending for a timely golden age hero? that's rare.
Posted by: kveto | November 29, 2015 2:09 PM
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