NFL Superpro #1
Issue(s): NFL Superpro #1
Granted the bad guy in question is too busy questioning the very existence of Superpro to try to decipher what he's saying ("So wait, if you need him alive more than i need him dead, that's... i'm sorry, what if you are mistaken?"). And then Superpro makes things even better by wasting time providing exposition to this guy, therefore bungling the attempt to protect the guy he's trying to protect.
In this issue, NFL Superpro is making the world safe for professional football by taking down a gambling ring. The head bad guy is Marco Sanzionare, who will be a repeat villain in this series and will eventually get the supervillain name Sanction.
Superpro, despite his, um, Football Leap and incredible "touchdown" and "wash your mouth out with a fist" quips, fails to stop the second assassin.
Also in this issue is Spider-Man. But he is in pure newspaper/slacker Spidey mode.
Maybe i should lend a hand? Eh, just shoot a tracer and then take some pictures.
And i don't know what's going on with that lady's shiny boobs.
I noted in Superpro's special that his cameraman Ken Reid figured out Superpro's secret ID within minutes. It wouldn't take Spider-Man long to figure out either, if he cared. And if the Daily Bugle publishes that photo of Superpro getting into Reid's van, i imagine everyone will know soon enough.
Note also that Spider-Man's list of priorities has taking photos, calling Mary Jane, and meeting up with Joy Mercado all higher than following the car that he tagged with a spider-tracer.
As for Phil Grayfield, aka NFL Superpro, he calls his sort-of girlfriend Jane Dixon, even though it's 1 am in New York and she's currently trapped inside a lampshade.
By the way, here's the guy that is accused of throwing a game or something so that he could help the gambling ring. One look at his hair and i said "guilty!".
After an assassination attempt on the hair guy, Spider-Man finally gets around to following up on the tracer. But when he gets where he's going, Superpro is already there.
No no no, Superpro. Football jokes. Football. And you're not the house, so your quip doesn't even make sense.
Anyway, Superpro finally does enough Football Kicking and makes enough vaguely disturbing jokes about "receiving" that we can declare this issue over.
Well, ok, one last look in on Spidey.
Thanks for your help!
Quality Rating: D
Chronological Placement Considerations: N/A
Continuity Insert? N
My Reprint: N/A
Marvel seem to put Spider-Man in a guest appearance just to justify a new character (who they probably know is lame). Poor Spidey.
Posted by: JSfan | November 3, 2015 12:35 PM
Spidey also appeared in Transformers which was declared not in 616.
I'd like the idea of bringing back superpro just to see every villain kick him around. A great way to give some villains some wins.
Posted by: kveto | November 3, 2015 3:13 PM
I seriously wonder how many subpar books Nicieza was managing to churn out every month at this point.
He was quite prolific at this sort of thing, and it feels like he's on at least half of Marvel's line in 1991.
Posted by: Bob | November 3, 2015 3:16 PM
Oh man NFL Superpro. This takes me back. I gave this first issue to my brother as a gag gift back in the day. The best thing I can say about the series (which I picked up years later for a pittance) is that Ron Frenz did the art for almost all the covers. The book still sucked but Frenz did his damnedest to make it look interesting on the rack. The Cap cover was my fave.
Posted by: Robert | November 3, 2015 6:47 PM
Spidey's appearance in Transformers was a doozy, placed in there to boost sales, but in his black costume only because Hasbro didn't wish to step on Mattel's toes who had the licensing rights for the Secret Wars toyline and at that point hadn't issued the black costume variant. By the time the issue was on stands Spidey had ditched the parasitic symbiote and a footnote had to be added to alert readers this story took place prior to Spider-Man 258.
Posted by: Darren | November 3, 2015 8:31 PM
Ordinarily I'd hate seeing Nicieza's name on any work. But since SuperSellout is nothing moar than a poor attempt at pulling in children to the Corporate Whore that is the NFL, I'm glad to see Marvel send one of it's worst writers in wat I'll believe is a secret attempt to hijack this piece of shit comic.
Posted by: JC | November 4, 2015 9:04 AM
"Trapped in a lampshade". Well played, fnord! Of course, if Phil/Superpro saw her in that skimpy number he'd end up being flagged for illegal use of hands!
Posted by: Brian Coffey | July 4, 2017 7:59 AM
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