The Small Lebowski:
NFL Superpro #11
Issue(s): NFL Superpro #11
NFL Superpro starts things off by going off brand, playing in a charity basketball game.
Next issue he'll be playing baseball. You'd think the NFL wouldn't like this, but Superpro knows he's untouchable. What are they going to do, not renew his critically acclaimed comic book?
After the game, NFL Superpro notices one of the basketball players, Bud Corkin, getting pressured by his agent. In his civilian guise as reporter Phil Grayfield, Superpro goes to the agent, whose name, and i am not making this up, is Mr. Leech, and starts asking questions. That gets him attacked by goons in the parking lot. As i've said before, the only thing keeping Superpro's identity a secret is that everyone he meets is as dumb as he is. I love how the goons surround him and then Grayfield just makes a beeline out of there without a word.
And then he jumps off a ledge and disappears, only to reappear out of nowhere as Superpro.
But what's always the best is when the bad guys laugh at him.
Actually, i'm misleading you. They're really just laughing at the guy that they think jumped off a ledge to his death. They're actually just surprised when Superpro shows up. But my way's funnier.
Superpro beats up the thugs and realizes that some of them are former basketball players themselves. He goes home and meets up with his friend Ken, and they do some research on Mr. Leech and find that Leech has gotten a lot of his clients from the same university, which also seems to have been attended by a lot of Marvel editors and other creators.
This begins to pull the lid on a scandal where the college has been inflating the players' test scores to keep them in the sports programs.
So Leech contacts the Constrictor to stop the investigation and get the money from Bud Corkin. Notice the line about Fury.
So this story is where Constrictor goes back to crime after Nick Fury seemingly convinced him to walk away from that life.
Even Constrictor knows that NFL Superpro shouldn't be playing basketball.
But he is charitable enough to consider Superpro a superhero.
Constrictor seems to really be getting into his role as well, hissing like a snake. Maybe after fighting NFL Superpro, joining the Serpent Society doesn't seem that cheesy after all.
Constrictor also has a few things to say about all that head trauma in professional football.
Constrictor manages to get in one good, if sneaky, hit...
...but ultimately he suffers a very embarrassing defeat.
Tied up with his own coils by NFL Superpro. No wonder i never knew about this appearance. This isn't something you lobby to have included in your Handbook entry.
Constrictor asks to speak to Nick Fury at the end, but i doubt Fury accepts the call.
Parole officer, huh?
With Mr. Leech exposed, the grade inflating at the school is also said to have ended. A new dean takes over and institutes a program to make sure that the students get a proper education. Grayfield "helps out" by giving a droning speech.
Quality Rating: D+
Chronological Placement Considerations: N/A
Continuity Insert? N
My Reprint: N/A
In Avengers: The Initiative, Constrictor and Taskmaster tell each other about their humiliating defeats. Constrictor says New Warriors, but this is what he should have mentioned.
Posted by: Erik Robbins | April 22, 2016 10:11 PM
Yeah, the New Warriors lineup included FIRESTAR for Pete's sake- how can you possibly think that getting defeated by Firestar is more humiliating than getting defeated by NFL Superpro?
Posted by: Michael | April 23, 2016 11:44 AM
Why did this have to happen to Constrictor? Did Daredevil's editorial object to Stilt-Man losing to 'Pro? Like they had big plans for Ol' Stiltsy!
Posted by: Brian Coffey | July 11, 2017 8:27 PM
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