Silver Sable & the Wild Pack #6-7
Issue(s): Silver Sable & the Wild Pack #6, Silver Sable & the Wild Pack #7
One thing that seems to happen especially with bad artists is that when they try to draw sexy women, they end up contorting the bodies so much to highlight the butt and boobs that it really just highlights how bad the artist is.
Anyway, the plot of these issues is that the Statue of Liberty has been stolen, and Silver Sable's Wild Pack has been hired to get it back. Sandman is on personal leave, and Paladin is in South America tracking Dmitri Petrovitch's rogue Hydra organization, so to beef up the team, Silver Sable brings in Deathlok. They weren't actually expecting Deathlok; he was contacted on the basis of his online alias, Doctor Donut. Deathlok has made a name for himself in cyberspace while searching for his body.
A point has been made in Deathlok's own book that he doesn't want to be a superhero, and he's certainly not a mercenary, so his appearance here feels a lot more like it's due to the fact that Gregory Wright writes both books than anything else.
Deathlok is able to trace the stolen Statue of Liberty to a secret headquarters in the Grand Canyon. They find a huge and heavily manned operation, and learn that the Statue of Liberty wasn't the only thing taken.
They fight their way through hordes of goons...
...and meet the head villain, whose name is Cathode.
Check out that one goon with the abnormally long forearm doing the fist pump. That is the sort of enthusiasm Cathode can inspire. I admit i would not mind piloting that floating box thing. The way it laughs in the face of aerodynamics is all the motivation i need.
I suppose Cathode's costume is also a motivating factor for some of her goons.
I want to see the tech sheet for that outfit, so that i can learn how it happens that the costume needs to just barely cover her naughty bits and not much else. Is her teleportation ray powered by her nipples somehow? The whole thing is ridiculous.
By the "whole thing", i include the entire plot. I tried holding off judgement until we met the villain and found out her motivation, but that just made it worse. The idea of stealing national landmarks is straight out of Super Friends. And Cathode just wants this stuff for her personal museum.
There's no explanation for how she managed to set up this vast organization. I mean, i guess she can teleport whatever she wants to her lair, so she can grab as much money as she needs to hire whoever she wants (and build as many floating battery packs as she needs for her loyal henchmen) but it all seems pointless. What good is owning the Statue of Liberty if you have to stay strapped up naked to a machine all day long? For that matter, what good is owning the Statue of Liberty period?
Then there's the fact that this is not a Silver Sable story. If we must live in a comic book universe where villains steal national landmarks, it's clearly the sort of thing that any super-hero would agree to stop. The Avengers or whoever would have done this for free. It makes no sense for the government to hire Silver Sable for this, and in terms of giving this book a unique identity, this is not the sort of job that Silver Sable should be getting involved in.
Obviously, in the end, Cathode is defeated, never to appear again...
...and the Statue of Liberty is restored. Deathlok doesn't want payment, but Sable agrees to help him search for his body instead.
During the course of this story, we learn that Amy Chen is gay.
Cathode was apparently Japanese, which i didn't realize until Powell's racist "jokes" at the end.
As for Paladin, he uncovers an insidious plan on the part of Dmitri Petrovitch to do terrible things to monkeys, but unfortunately has monkey problems of his own, and Petrovitch is able to escape.
However, Paladin is able to capture some of his goons and interrogate them.
He later goes back to Silver Sable's headquarters while the others are dealing with Cathode, and gets into a weird fight with one of Sable's administrators, Lorna.
Lorna reveals that she's the daughter of a Nazi war criminal. She was taken in by Sable's father after the Wild Pack hunted her father down.
They later get into a legit sparring exercise.
It's interrupted when one of Sable's accountants tells Lorna that Dr. Doom has sent a bill for the damage done to his castle in the last arc, and that it means that Paladin's assignment will have to be cut, since it's not a profitable venture. Lorna forcefully tells the accountant to find a way to balance the books while keeping Paladin's job going.
As for Sandman, he's gone for a job interview with the Nextwave characters (previously seen in Ghost Rider #29).
Notice that one obviously re-scripted word balloon, like someone wanted to make sure we got that these characters are parodies of the Image creators.
I said at the beginning of this series that the basic idea actually seemed interesting, but it's clear now that Gregory Wright won't be handling it well.
Quality Rating: D
Chronological Placement Considerations: Deathlok #17-21 takes place after this; Silver Sable shows up there to repay the debt she (feels that she) incurred here.
Continuity Insert? N
My Reprint: N/A
Inbound References (1): showAgent-X (Next Wave), Amy Chen, Battlestar, Crippler, Deathlok (Michael Collins), Dmitri Petrovitch, Doug Powell, Lorna Kleinfeldt, Paladin, Raul Quentino, Sandman, Silver Sable, Snare (Next Wave), Turk (Next Wave)
I would have never guessed that Deathlok was "Doctor Donut"...my entire "badass" image of him has been shattered by that one bit of trivia.
Posted by: Ataru320 | May 4, 2016 9:37 AM
This story is like something out of the old G.I. Joe cartoon. I think one time Cobra actually *did* steal a bunch of monuments from around the globe. At least Cobra Commander doesn't parade around in an "outfit" like Cathode has here.
Posted by: Ben Herman | May 4, 2016 1:48 PM
"At least Cobra Commander doesn't parade around in an "outfit" like Cathode has here."
Well, thank goodness for that;)
Posted by: clyde | May 4, 2016 2:42 PM
"He's even bigger than I am!", Battlestar thinks, as his eyes fix on Deathlok's crotch.
Posted by: Mortificator | May 4, 2016 3:07 PM
Okay, I'll step in and defend Cathode's "outfit". I mean, it *is* in that in only covers the naughty bits... but the general idea is sound. She looks like a Borg... Note that Circuit Breaker from "Transformers" had similar costume.
It's interesting to see the Nextwave trio make another appearance. Marvel editorial really was pissed at the Image guys...
Posted by: Piotr W | May 4, 2016 3:49 PM
Cobra went around the world getting the DNA of great military leaders in the origin of Serpentor. So at least they had a reason!
Posted by: Dave77 | May 4, 2016 4:29 PM
Ben, I was thinking of the same cartoon. I was waiting for a scene of the mayor of Paris berating Silver Sable for driving tanks down the city streets, or something. (Dave77, the gathering of DNA for Serpentor was a different storyline.)
Posted by: Erik Robbins | May 8, 2016 5:32 PM
Comments are now closed.
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