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cwalken

  1. Do I have ghost writer? No. But I'll admit that someone has been sorting my mail. Who would do that and why? Maybe a ghost, I don't know.22 minutes ago from web
  2. Mrs. Liebowitz is stopping over to talk about a "terrible rumor that's circulating." She still thinks I'm Gary Cooper even without the hat.about 2 hours ago from web
  3. I wanted to wish my friend @sniffyjenkins a happy birthday but she's terribly bashful. I'll probably settle on a nice E-Card instead.about 4 hours ago from web
  4. She wanted to go to the zoo but she knows I'm not comfortable there. Animals can smell that too. Animals with noses I mean. Like bears.about 21 hours ago from web
  5. I spoke to a lovely reporter today. I don't know if she was really who she said she was but that's fine. I secretly used an ironic tone.9:18 AM Mar 26th from web
  6. Better to read Archie comic books to study adolescent psychology than to think that you really know someone on Twitter. Jughead said that.4:20 PM Mar 25th from web
  7. A friend mailed me her new book but didn't sign it. I hope that doesn't mean she wants it back. I'll tell her I sneezed on it or something.1:06 PM Mar 25th from web
  8. I do my best thinking in a barber's chair. Sadly I do my worst remembering there too. Sure, I could take some notes but who does that?5:03 PM Mar 24th from web
  9. A neighbor kid shows up from time to time dressed as Superman. I think it's him anyway. Very difficult to say for sure without the glasses.12:00 PM Mar 24th from web
  10. I am now invited to a dog wedding. I don't have the words to make that stupider than it already sounds. They're registered at Whiskers.6:16 AM Mar 24th from web
  11. You know that Andy Dick and how he seemed funny until we noticed that he wasn't? You'll tell me when it's time to stop, right?6:57 PM Mar 23rd from web
  12. To clarify - It's partially my fault that the cat answers to "Martin." I believe his name is actually "Pookie" but I won't call a cat that.8:51 AM Mar 23rd from web
  13. Mrs. Liebowitz's cat has gone missing again. He answers to "Martin" and walks with an unfortunate limp. This was only partially my fault.8:44 AM Mar 23rd from web
  14. An associate told me that he'd been cheating on his wife. He asked me not to talk about it and I probably won't. Unless it comes up somehow.11:06 AM Mar 22nd from web
  15. Someone smote me for my previous comment regarding the Pope. I don't see a "smite" option in Twitter. Probably a good thing to have though.6:34 AM Mar 22nd from web
  16. The pope is in Angola now. In local dialect "Pope" translates to "goofy old man wearing a white tent." I'm making this up. Don't quote me.1:48 PM Mar 21st from web
  17. I can't say where we're going this evening. It's not a secret or anything - I just don't always listen well. We should keep this between us.1:27 PM Mar 20th from web
  18. She said I should talk more about my cat; that people like that sort of thing here. I didn't know I still had a cat. Explains a few things.8:53 AM Mar 20th from web
  19. "Secretary of Ironic Scarves." I don't know if Obama read my letter but I hope so. Ashton Kutcher deserves this. So does California.1:26 PM Mar 19th from web
  20. A friend from out west mailed me a "Snuggie." A joke apparently. I don't get it. I look like a derelict Gumby in the thing. Funny, I guess.8:14 AM Mar 19th from web