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Debbie Gibson and Tiffany

Today has been my day for finding awesome movie info. The first was Cowboys and Aliens, which is just awesome based on the title alone before you read the plot summary and see that it's got 1) Harrison Ford, 2) Daniel Craig, and 3) Jon Favreau and prolly deserves a post of its own, but i'm too excited by this new find.

First, there was the awesomeness that was Debra Gibson starring in Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. It was so awesome, fnord12 and i had to watch this in fast forward.

Then, to my extreme delight, we found out that 80s pop star Tiffany had also made her own B-giant monster flick, Mega Piranha. Oh it's so on my Netflix Instant queue.

Now....now I found out they're supposed to be in a movie together! Squee!!! And just look at the title - Mega Python vs. Gatoroid!

I thought nothing could top my excitement about Sharktopus. How wrong i was.

By min | November 19, 2010, 2:51 PM | Movies & TeeVee | Comments (0)| Link

I Love Steven Hill

As Adam Schiff:

I know how to scramble eggs. Doesn't mean I made breakfast.

By min | November 18, 2010, 10:35 AM | TeeVee | Comments (0)| Link

The Secret Origin of He-Man

Seeing a picture of a toy for Keldor in an issue of Toyfare recently reminded me of how much the He-Man cartoon ruined the original Masters of the Universe storyline. That cartoon was awful. And i don't mean that in an "every show from when you were a kid that you thought was good turns out to be crap when you watch it now" sort of way, like Knight Rider and Land of the Lost. I knew it was crap from the beginning. Because, having read the books that came with the original line of Masters of the Universe toys, i knew the truth.

There was no Prince Adam. No Cringer. There was only one guy named Man At Arms and he didn't have a pornstache and he wasn't Teela's father. And Skeletor certainly didn't used to be some loser called Keldor.

Let's take a look.

He-Man's origin

To start with, He-Man was a barbarian. He's no Prince. He didn't even have shoes or a shirt to start with. Just a loincloth.

He got his start by rescuing a sorceress from a monster.

In return, she gives him a bunch of ancient weapons, including a Battle-Ram and two battle suits. And some shoes. Note that the weapons were made before the "Great Wars" by scientists. This is a swords and sorcery world, but there's also all this ancient high tech equipment laying around. What does it mean? Yep, the Masters of the Universe take place in a post-apocalyptic world. Of course i like it.

Let's also stop here and note that He-Man built his home out of stone. With his fists. Again, no pampered prince in purple tights here.

Man At Arms

Man At Arms was a mysterious guy who knew a lot more about the ancient high tech weapons. He and He-Man didn't really get along that well, but they both worked against Skeletor.

The Power Sword
In the cartoon, He-Man always had the Power Sword, which turned him from Prince Adam into He-Man. Umm, why did He-Man need a secret identity? The bad guys always ran away from He-Man. But they were always kidnapping Prince Adam. The secret identity wasn't just pointless. It actively made things worse.

In the real stories, the Power Sword was the key that opened Castle Greyskull.

The Power Sword had two halves. In the toy line, one half came with Skeletor, and one half with He-Man, and they could be snapped together to make the complete sword. In the books, the spirit of Castle Greyskull was always splitting the swords up and hiding them somewhere. He-Man rarely had the sword. He generally used an axe or a spear. Because he's barbarian.

Skeletor wanted the Power Sword because inside Greyskull was the ability to open a portal to another dimension where his people lived. I guess since we don't see their faces, it's possible that Skeletor's people do look like Keldor. But i had always envisioned a nightmare world full of skeletal sorcerers that Skeletor wanted to unleash on Eternia.

Battlecat was exactly what he looks like: a big, bad-ass cat. He lived in the forest unless He-Man called him. He never turned into a talking house cat, because that would be stupid.

In Conclusion
The original He-Man story was awesome. The cartoon stunk. Thank you. The end.

By fnord12 | November 7, 2010, 2:41 PM | TeeVee | Comments (8)| Link

Sadly, You Are Not a Monster

By min | November 6, 2010, 2:57 AM | TeeVee | Comments (2)| Link

Hot, Pointy Finger

I need one of those.

By min | November 4, 2010, 8:25 PM | Comics & TeeVee | Comments (0)| Link

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