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« Ummm... Other?: March 2006 | Main | Ummm... Other?: May 2006 »

Ummm... Other?

Yep. I knew it.

Still think that the oil companies aren't engaged in a mass conspiracy to gouge us of our last dollars and then use the money to flee the planet while the rest of us descend into post peak-oil anarchy? Then why are the oil trucks driving around with flipping illuminati symbols?


By fnord12 | April 26, 2006, 10:10 PM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (3)| Link



Really didn't want their blood money

They found the Gospel of Judas:

As told in the New Testament Gospels, Judas betrayed Jesus for "30 pieces of silver," identifying him with a kiss in front of Roman soldiers. Later the guilt-ridden Judas returns the bribe and commits suicide, according to the Bible.

The Gospel of Judas, however, gives a very different account.

The text begins by announcing that it is the "secret account of the revelation that Jesus spoke in conversation with Judas Iscariot during a week, three days before he celebrated Passover."

It goes on to describe Judas as Jesus' closest friend, someone who understands Christ's true message and is singled out for special status among Jesus' disciples.

In the key passage Jesus tells Judas, "'you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me.'"

Kasser, the translation-project leader, offers an interpretation: "Jesus says it is necessary for someone to free him finally from his human body, and he prefers that this liberation be done by a friend rather than by an enemy.

"So he asks Judas, who is his friend, to sell him out, to betray him. It's treason to the general public, but between Jesus and Judas it's not treachery."

Which means Jesus Christ Superstar had it right all along:

Now if I help you, it matters that you see
These sordid kinda things are coming hard to me.
It's taken me some time to work out what to do.
I weighed the whole thing out before I came to you.
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.
I came because I had to; I'm the one who saw.
Jesus can't control it like he did before.
And furthermore I know that Jesus thinks so too.
Jesus wouldn't mind that I was here with you.
I have no thought at all about my own reward.
I really didn't come here of my own accord.
Just don't say I'm ... damned for all time.


By fnord12 | April 21, 2006, 4:48 PM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



Olympic Pigs

   
Hundreds of Russians gathered for the first day of the annual "pig Olympics" on Saturday, cheering a field of 12 piglets who competed in three events: pig-racing, pig-swimming and "pigball."
...
Alexei Sharshkov, vice-president of the Sport-Pig Federation, which claims 100 members, said the competitors had a happy future ahead of them, win or lose.

"They go on to produce a new generation of sport pigs. They don't get eaten," he promised. "How could you eat a competitor who is known around the world?"

Link


By min | April 17, 2006, 2:23 PM | Ummm... Other? | Link



All Sorts of Stuff


Were Rabbit


 
Switzerland tries a new tactic for attracting tourists.

A cow-milking 'Mr. Switzerland' and other handsome men are featured in a new advertising campaign seeking to entice soccer widows to leave their sports-obsessed men behind.
...
"Why not escape this summer's World Cup to a country where men spend less time on football, and more time on you?," the advertisement, says over images of a strapping farmhand, a sexy train conductor, a fit mountain climber, a dapper ferryman and a brawny lumberjack.

It ends with Renzo Blumenthal, Mr. Switzerland 2005, milking and then leaning up against a cow.

"See our loveli lakes.
The wonderful telephone system.
And mani interesting furry animals
Including the majestik moose."

In other unrelated news, we get a sample of how our nation cares for the elderly.

An 82-year-old woman received a $114 ticket for taking too long to cross a street. Mayvis Coyle said she began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley when the light was green, but was unable to make it to the other side before it turned red.

She said the motorcycle officer who ticketed her on Feb. 15 told her she was obstructing traffic.

And when a sick day just isn't enough,

Two people who police say conspired to get off of work for a few days by filing a fake obituary with a newspaper have been arrested.

James Ralph Snyder, 36, and Mary Jo Elizabeth Jensen, 33, both of Waterloo, participated in the scam by filing an obituary saying Jensen's 17-year-old son had died, police said.


By min | April 11, 2006, 1:50 PM | Ummm... Other? | Link



All Nouns Work With Monkey

"Where'd you get those corn fritters?"

"What's it to you, El Cid?"

"Look, I don't know why you can't ever answer a simple question."

"Simple is as simple does, El Cid."

"Oh forget it. I'm getting a ham sandwich."

"Don't you mean a 'ham' sandwich?"

"Whatever. You're just jealous cause I've got credentials. All you've got is that shirt button and a hedgehog monkey."


By min | April 4, 2006, 2:02 PM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



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