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« Ummm... Other?: September 2007 | Main | Ummm... Other?: November 2007 »

Ummm... Other?

Bear With Mange or Walter Langowski?

Link

You decide.


By min | October 31, 2007, 12:31 PM | Comics & Ummm... Other? | Comments (0)| Link



Who Says You Need Kids to Take Care of You When You're Old

It's the deal of a lifetime. Bob and Ricki Husick of Pittsburgh are offering anyone who buys their home a full refund when they die. The Husicks have been trying to sell their suburban home for almost a year, but have failed to do so in the current shaky market.

Some area homeowners have lowered prices, offered free trips and tried a variety of other gimmicks, but the Husicks came up with their own unique incentive.

The couple have no heirs and built the house in 1993. They want $399,900 for the four-bedroom, 3 1/2-bath home, which is located about 20 miles north of Pittsburgh.

Under the Husicks' offer, the buyer would get the sale price back when they die.

Wait, there's more: If the buyer agrees to care for the couple in old age, he could also inherit their retirement home in Arizona.

"Why not go for the works? So if we're worth $2.5 million, you get it all," said Husick, 55.

Link (doesn't say anymore than i posted, though)

The only fears would be that the person might not take care of you very well since they're in it just for the money. And that they might actually bump you off to get the money sooner. Which are really fears you have about your own kids anyway, so what's the difference? At least this way you don't have the aggravation of rearing them.


By min | October 31, 2007, 12:24 PM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (0)| Link



A Boost To My Confidence In Iowans

Link

Renee Mulvey, the [Iowa Department of Revenue's] spokeswoman, said officials decided that pumpkins are used primarily for Halloween decorations, not food, and should be taxed. Previously, they had been considered an edible squash and exempted from the tax.
...
Iowans planning to eat pumpkins can still get an exemption from the sales tax, if they fill out the "Iowa Sales Tax Exemption Certificate" form. [emphasis mine]
...
Mulvey said department officials don't know how much extra revenue to expect from the pumpkin tax.

There's a form you can fill out. A form. If you are actually going to eat that squash you're buying and not use it for some non-food purpose.

Thank goodness they're first in the primaries.


By min | October 31, 2007, 11:28 AM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (3)| Link



Remember David Copperfield?

The magician. Not the Dickens book. He walked through the Great Wall of China. He made the Statue of Liberty disappear. That guy.

Well, he isn't doing so well nowadays.

A federal grand jury in Seattle is investigating allegations by a Washington state woman who said she was raped, assaulted and threatened by magician David Copperfield at his private island in the Bahamas in July, at least three federal law enforcement officials have confirmed.

How do you go from Claudia Schiffer to this?


By min | October 29, 2007, 9:53 AM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (0)| Link



A Proud Moment

For those of you who will soon be Washington state residents:

It's a look that lead-foot drivers know all too well: the crisp black bow tie and blue "Smokey Bear" hat of a Washington State Patrol trooper.

And according to a national trade group, the outfits are the best-looking state police uniforms in the country.

The patrol, which has been wearing the peaked hats and distinctive bow ties for about 70 years, recently was named America's "Best-Dressed State Law Enforcement Agency" by the National Association of Uniform Manufacturers and Distributors.


By min | October 24, 2007, 1:17 PM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (6)| Link



Hepped Up On Mucenex

For those of you who love that xkcd so much, i bring you The Cutest:

More examples of injustice as a man texting while driving gets hit by a freight train but suffers no fatal injuries.

Delf said officers believe he was driving faster than the 35 mph speed limit as well as using his cell phone to send a text message. She said he tried to brake for the train, but it was too close.

"There are all kinds of ways to get distracted these days," said police spokeswoman Kerry Delf. "We don't recommend any of them while you're driving."

Another guy assaults his 81-year old father with a hammer so that he can put him in a nursing home, freeing him up to return to India.

"He was under a belief, we don't know why, that you can't go straight into a nursing home without being in the hospital," said Chief Deputy District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe. "He thought, 'I can overcome that problem. I'll put him in the hospital.'"

After the Oct. 6 attack in the bathroom, the victim was unconscious for an hour and a half before Patel called paramedics, Wagstaffe said. The man has since been released from the hospital.

Patel was being held on $500,000 bail after being charged with attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon and elder abuse.

The Hammer of Justice could not be reached for comment as she and Juicy Carmichael (kick) were out on a case. Sources close to The Hammer say that she is most definitely against elder abuse.

And for some random news on Catholics, we've got the Knights Templar and Elvis worshipping.

God, i wish i'd taken some Mucenex this morning before coming to work.


By min | October 17, 2007, 11:09 AM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (6)| Link



Pirates, Har!

Not only do pirates still exist, har, they've been stepping up their attacks in the last year, har. Who knew, har?

Maritime pirate attacks worldwide shot up 14 percent in the first nine months of 2007 from a year earlier, with Somalia and Nigeria showing the biggest increases, an international watchdog said Tuesday.

While Africa remains problematic, Southeast Asia's Malacca Strait, one of the world's busiest waterways, has been relatively quiet, the International Maritime Bureau said in its report.

A total of 198 attacks on ships were reported between January and September this year, up from 174 in the same period in 2006, the IMB said.

It said a total of 15 vessels were hijacked, 63 crew kidnapped and three killed.

In the July to September period alone, there were 72 incidents, up from 47 in the same period a year earlier, marking the second straight quarterly rise in attacks, the London-based IMB said through its piracy reporting center in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Har!


By min | October 16, 2007, 9:01 AM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



You just don't see ads like these anymore


By fnord12 | October 12, 2007, 2:59 PM | Comics & Ummm... Other? | Comments (0)| Link



FYI

The headline of this article is not "Stalin helps prevent heart attack". Unfortunately.


By fnord12 | October 11, 2007, 8:52 AM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



I Before Me

It really peeves me when people misuse "I" and "me". When it's misused in speech, that's fine. Far be it for me to expect anyone to speak perfectly when i can barely get through a sentence without mispronouncing some one-syllable word. But in the printed form, there should be no excuse for getting it wrong.

Today, Tycho from Penny Arcade does it (Gabe is a frequent culprit, as well).

This is today's comic, which represents an authentic conversation between my son and I.

Arggh!

It happens on tv all the time, too. This is scripted dialogue. Again, no excuse for using the wrong word. And i'm not talking about incorrect grammar and dropped consonants because it's part of the person's characterization. It's more like people who are trying to speak correctly but don't know what the grammar rule is so they toss in "I" because mebbe it sounds more correct?

I don't know why i'm the grammar police. As i said before, i can barely piece sentences together in a coherent manner. But my mother did always call me Professor Higgins. Just another facet of my inherent need to always be right.

At least i'm not alone.

"I" is a pronoun that must be the subject of a verb. "Me" is a pronoun that must be the object of the verb. The easiest way to decipher the two is to remove the other noun from the sentence and see if it still makes sense.

And don't go shoving "myself" in there like i'm not going to notice! It's still wrong!


By min | October 8, 2007, 1:38 PM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



What a rip-off

Where's my S P E C I A L privileges and family ties? I want SUPER KUNG-FU!


By fnord12 | October 1, 2007, 7:58 PM | Comics & My stupid life & Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



Rat Poisoning - Always A Classic

Must have been some kiss for him not to notice her dumping a foreign object in his mouth that wasn't her tongue.

A Chinese woman who killed her lover with a rat poison-laced kiss when she suspected him of being unfaithful has been sentenced to death, a newspaper said Thursday.

Xia Xinfeng, from Maolou in the central province of Henan, passed a capsule with rat poison from her mouth to her long-time lover, Mao Ansheng, during a kiss, the Shanghai Daily said.

Mao swallowed the capsule and died soon afterwards.

"The couple had said that if either one of them cheated on the other, he or she would have to die," the paper said in explaining the mouth-to-mouth assault.

Xia found Mao had been "talking" with another woman and deemed that he had broken their promise.


By min | October 1, 2007, 11:13 AM | Ummm... Other? | Comments (1)| Link



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