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Satire's Lost on Them

Wanyas was kind enough to provide this link to us from a blogger named Pete who read an Onion article and thought it was real.

When referring to the killing of her child she said:

"I am totally psyched for this abortion!"


"If my HMO wouldn't have bowed to their pressure not to cover oral contraceptives, I never would've gotten pregnant in the first place."

Sorry ma'am, if you hadn't had sex you wouldn't have gotten pregnant, it's not the HMO's fault for not supporting your promiscuity while not married.

He goes on like this for a bit. The best part, however, is reading the comments. They pretty much tear him apart for the next 800+ entries.

I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?

Lemme just say, I was at the post-abortion party and it fucking rocked....Fallopian tubes were just falling out for the hell of it.

Ladies and Gentlemen... we now have a new tide mark for the shallow end of the gene pool.

Sufficient Scruples awarded Pete the Stegosaurus of the Week award (Because You Have More Brains In Your Ass Than In Your Head).

Not satisfied with this, however, Pete posted an update. He still refers to the subject of the Onion article (Miss Weber) as if she was a real person. And justifies his initial assumption that the article was real because that's just how "pro-abortionists" talk.

Needless to say, a few people wanted to let me know that I was a dolt for thinking that her article was real. As a matter of fact, call me a dolt, because in the beginning I really did think it was real. Why? because I meet women like her in the field all the time. Anyway, I wrote the blog in a way that was meant to point out how psychotic the pro-abortion movement is.

He then goes on to recount an absurd conversation he supposedly had with a woman in the park after he put up some Genocidal Awareness Project posters (i think you've all seen these. The dead fetus pictures.) to prove how "psychotic" pro-choicers are. The conversation basically goes "do you think it's ok for a mother to strangle her child to death?" and the response was "maybe." Now, as pointed out in the comments (he received another 600+scathing comments about his intelligence for this post) the chick was more than likely messing with him, trying to get him to go away.

Then, the jerk quotes the HMO comment again so that he can say how wrong it is to have sex for the second time! If you make an embarassing mistake and everybody notices, just run with it. That way you'll still come out on top!

This comment might be my favorite so far:

Don't listen to these heathens Pete, you know in your heart of hearts that Caroline Weber is just as real as I am. Keep believing child. Jesus Christ

Pete finishes up with "Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the "satire" right back at them, don't you?" which shows that once again, he's got no clue what satire means.

And now, due to all the backlash he received from these 2 posts, Pete moved his entire site to a new location. Registration is required before comments can be left. Unfortunately for him, it wasn't enough.

I'm not sure packing up your blog and moving it to a new address is an effective way to escape the embarassment you've brought down upon yourself. You might want to look into witness relocation programs.

I like what you've done with blocking off comments on the latest post. You should probably do that on everything you ever write from now on. If your mistake wasn't going to follow you forever, the amusement of your attempts at damage control will.

Um, sweetie? We can still see you.

He even got a wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/March_Together_For_Life but it's being considered for deletion, so if you want to check it out, better do it quick.

By min | July 12, 2006, 10:47 AM | Liberal Outrage


I just wanted to say that the Stegosaurus did not really have a second brain in its butt. That's a complete myth and we shouldn't perpetuate it.

what is that? is that science?? is it? IS IT!!!

goddamn you.