Supporting the troops:

The U.S. Military is demanding that thousands of wounded service personnel give back signing bonuses because they are unable to serve out their commitments.

To get people to sign up, the military gives enlistment bonuses up to $30,000 in some cases.

Now men and women who have lost arms, legs, eyesight, hearing and can no longer serve are being ordered to pay some of that money back.

It's like we're in a science fiction book where someone gathered years of Onion stories, traveled back in time, and made them really happen just so we could live in the most absurd possible world.