Secret Avengers #3 - Between this and what i'm hearing about Age of Ultron, it sounds like Tony Stark needs another Armor Wars. Ummmm, what have we got here? Well, first of all, i think it's pretty clear that no one can tell Maria Hill and Daisy Johnson apart, because i'm fairly certain Ross drew Hill into that scene and Spencer covered for it in the dialogue. Either that or Johnson is very... mature for a teenager. Actually i guess that's not the case since she does use her powers. Still, it's confusing, and being able to draw different body types would be a big help. All this "director/acting director" nonsense is equally messy. The whole black ops / "we mess with Hawkeye's mind" situation is also feeling muddled. Suddenly Fury Jr. is against the idea, and meanwhile Hawkeye is just joking about it ("Is this one of those things we did that we're not allowed to remember? Because i would like to remember that. That's awesome."). I dunno, it's just hard to understand the book's tone. And then there's AIM. It seems AIM is being used very prominently in a number of books. But i don't like the "The new AIM is not the old AIM" message. Out of story we like to goof on the beekeeper suits, and MODOK, but in-story, with the exception of say, Spider-Man, the organization should be depicted as a deadly threat and shouldn't need a make-over to make them cool again. Especially since, ultimately, this version of AIM will be taken down too. It's too meta to say that any villain or group is a loser because they lose a lot. They don't have a choice in the matter. So it's up to the writers to make them still seem like credible threats, and they shouldn't have to resort to mocking the old version and saying this time they're cool. It also seems inconsistent to say that they are now recognized as a nation by the UN and then have a deadly fight break out between them and SHIELD at an arms show. The whole book just feels like a mess to me.

Wolverine #2 - This was done well, if a bit slow. Some nice moments with the alien observing Wolverine, and a cute interaction with Fury Jr.. I thought the protein jar with the homeless guy was weird; is that a reference to something i don't know about? As i've said before, the biggest roadblock for me is that i see so much of Wolverine i really don't need a solo book, even despite the good creators here, and especially when the plot is small scale (i was going to say that the small scale was deliberate, but here's the Watcher to prove otherwise). Since that's all i have to say about that, what's with the "Paul McCartney of supers" line? Paul McCartney wasn't in a lot of bands the way Wolverine is in a lot of super-teams. Trying to think of a better musician to use. Brian Eno? Too behind-the-scenes. Maybe Secret Defenders era Dr. Strange is the Brian Eno of supers. Ok, getting off track...

Uncanny Avengers #6 - So i thought we were going somewhere cool with this, and maybe we still are. The Asgardians have a connection to the Celestials through the Destroyer armor, which Odin created to fight off the Celestials if they ever decided the Earth was unworthy. And he also created the New Gods as (i think) proof that humanity had the potential that the Celestials were looking for, to judge us worthy. So here's Thor mucking about with an agent of the Celestials (more on that in a minute) and Odin tells him quit it because he's got this. So when Thor ignores Odin and messes with the Celestials anyway, you'd think there's be some tie-in to the Destroyer/New Gods stuff. But there wasn't any and it seems like the real implications of this action will be shown in an upcoming issue unrelated to established history. And i guess that could be because Apocalypse wasn't ever really an agent of the Celestials the way he's presented here. As i understood it (my understanding of Apocalypse admittedly only goes about up to X-Cutioner's song, and is muddled by my own conjectures over the years), Apocalypse wasn't an agent of the Celestials. He was someone who discovered Celestial tech early on and devoted his life to ensuring that Earth would be able to prove itself worthy to them. So Thor fighting Apocalypse wouldn't really be relevant to the Celestials at all, which means my two concerns cancel each other out, although that doesn't seem to be what Remender intends (again, it'll depend on where this goes). I have other concerns as well! First, per the Tales of Asgard, Thor was always pretty noble and goody goody, and he proved himself worthy of Mjolnir fairly early on. This story takes place in 1013, which seems pretty late for Thor to be going through a surly teenager phase. There's also the idea that Apocalypse is wearing armor, which isn't how i understand the character. He's a shape-shifter at the molecular level, in total control of his own body, and there's no need for him to wear armor. I guess it could just be a mistake on the part of Thor (& Odin & Kang, or Kang was just lying) that leads him to think he's wearing armor, but even so Apocalypse shouldn't be any more vulnerable on the inside than his surface. And he certainly shouldn't whine "Y-you've cheated...". ("Aha! You are worthy!" would have been better.) I'm really ok with retroactively establishing some history between all of these characters but it has to match up with what's already been established (and remember my rule: if i remember it one way, and your recap page and/or footnotes don't tell me otherwise, Marvel is wrong, not me. I know Jason Aaron is doing some awful-sounding revisions to Thor currently, but none of that is explained here, if it's relevant). Also? Introducing an ancestor of Wolverine that looks exactly like him is pretty dumb. Apocalypse was one of my favorite villains pretty early in my comic collecting days, and so you'd think i'd be pretty excited about this stuff, and i sort of am, but that's going to sour quickly if it turns out to just be ignoring everything that's come before.

Fearless Defenders #3 - I await min's commentary on the poses Misty Knight is doing when they first arrive in the empty town. Beyond that, i've lost all interest in this book.

Avengers Arena #7 - Well i was hoping this issue would provide some behind-the-scenes explanations for what was really happening in this series, but it is instead doubling-down on the idea that it is all really happening and not some VR simulation. Not that i needed it to be a simulation; i'm fine with characters dying in the process of a good story. But i've been reading this waiting for some kind of interesting twist, and this issue didn't deliver. I had some hopes for this series but it's really just dragged on and is going nowhere. So i'm gonna drop this now (i'd also drop Secret Avengers, Fearless Defenders, and Wolverine but there are other people in our reading chain who want to keep getting those books; i've been the only hold-out on this one). I'd also like to end with the idea that Arcade hosting a birthday party where he invites super-villains seems really out of character - he's a pychopath and an assassin. He doesn't hang out with super-villains. And the only reason the super-villains call him a loser is for the same reason i mentioned regarding AIM above. Every fricking character there is a loser by the same definition. Annoying.

Avenging Spider-Man #19 - I was disappointed by this. I've been enjoying Yost's take on Octo-Spidey and i was looking forward to either a cool redemption of Sleepwalker along the lines of what we saw for Darkhawk a little while back, or at least a fun goofy story using the character. Instead Yost went the route of doing a nightmare story and those are always tedious (at least it wasn't a Nightmare story). The one good thing about dream issues is that it's usually a chance for the artist to go wild, but Marco Checchetto's depictions were pretty bland. And i really don't need to know about Doc Ock being abused as a child. Arrogant genius driven insane by a radioactive explosion. That's all i need. Oh well. Unlike some of the other books i'm disappointed with this week, i'm pretty confident that this issue is an exception due to the topic and next issue will be fun again.

SA: i meant to say this when it was first brought up last week during our in-person rants over comics, but i didn't get the chance.

most women are fully "mature" physically by the middle of high school. some sooner than that. Daisy is at least 18, right? that's an adult. she's been carrying her burdens for at least a few years at this point, and her proportions are not extreme in any way, either. i agree that we could use more variety in body types, though.

also, Daisy's now sporting the asymmetrical haircut so you can tell her apart from Maria Hill. thank god they finally discovered more than 1 haircut.

the book is a mess, but not so much that i'm bothered by it. i still say it's better than most everything else we are spending money on to read (All New X-Men, i'm totally looking at you!).

UA: i dunno what's going on with drunk, surly Thor. i mean, there was a point in time where Odin decided he was getting to big for his britches and punished him by sending him to Midgard in Donald Blake's body. so, mebbe that's what this is about. he was a good kid at first, but then he discovered mead and turned into a dick (which still doesn't really track when you take into account the later Tales of Asgard where he is an adult and noble). but that doesn't explain why he's not using Mjolnir at this point.

and, i hate Kang and time travel plots. i hates it, Baggins!

FD: this plot doesn't make much sense. you all heard Hela say Asgardian blood was needed for the ritual which was the entire reason she made all sorts of backroom deals to bring Hippolyta back, right? so, when the All-Mothers decided to send Valkyrie anyway, how come nobody raises their hands to ask her wtf?

on the title page, Misty is mocking Valkyrie for not being able to find replacement Shield Maidens in a world full of superheroes. well, in a world full of superheroes, the All-Mothers pick an archaeologist and an Asgardian (who they were warned not to send) as part of her crack four-person team? cause there was nobody else in the entire world she could have tapped?

and why can't the archeologist (who i care so little about i can't even be bothered to look in the issue for her name) just say "hells no!"? she doesn't answer to the All-Mothers. she can very easily ask to be put back on earth and left the hell alone. she's just going to die!

as for Misty's queer twisted torso, off-balance pose when they teleport into the ghost town - did she just slip in a soapy puddle prior to the teleportation? what the hell is that? when do you ever find your body in that position? a small shove to her left shoulder would send her toppling. for the love of god, Will Sliney, go rent some Jet Li and Jackie Chan made in Hong Kong movies!!! or, i dunno, try to stand like how you're drawing people and see how stable you feel.

Spartan cross-dressers???

i'm done with this book.

A lot of inconsistent, incomprehensible stuff happens with Apocalypse right after X-ecutioner's Song: in Cable's future he (or possibly, by then, she) is shown to be a body-swapper using an exoskeleton. This is somewhat explained later as Apocalypse burning out over time, and he needs to absorb new bodies or life forces. I guess he develops a shell, too: in the horrible Twelve storyline around 1999, there's a scene where Apocalypse gets blasted, and under his usual blue bulk there's a skinny old dude. So armor may fit with that.

All this, by the way, is the simple version. It's a real mess. The agent of the Celestials stuff is added later by Peter Milligan, I believe, circa 2006.