I woke up this morning to find out that i don't even own this site anymore but i figured i should still try to get through this big pile of recent comics before i go away for the week (during which time, i imagine, the site will just completely melt down). It's been a while so i'll be Speed Reviewing two issues at once in some cases. And i've got to get to bed to catch a plane tomorrow morning, so no proofreading or nuthin'.

Secret Avengers #5-6 - I really have a problem with the weird premise of this series (Hawkeye and Black Widow agreeing to let SHIELD mindwipe them repeatedly while sending them on assassination missions and other questionably moral things) so you'd think i'd be happy with issue #5 where Hawkeye was finally beginning to question what the hell he was doing there. But instead i'm just like "Yeah! So walk away!". But he doesn't. I'm glad to see Maria Hill become the action director of SHIELD again, and the jokey acknowledgement that even the characters in the book can't tell them apart. AIM working its way onto the permanent UN Security Council seems insanely implausible. I enjoyed the bit with Rhodey taking over the Iron Patriots.

Red She-Hulk #67 - Let's just say whatever the merits of this issue, i'm sorry to see Jeff Parker go.

X-Factor #258 - I came in late to this iteration of X-Factor and i imagine the payoff for these final issues will be better for those who have been following from the beginning.

Thunderbolts #11 - We decided to drop this when Daniel Way left so i think this is our last issue. It's been fun. A bit thin, plotwise, but i've enjoyed the character interactions.

Avengers AI #1 - I dropped Age of Ultron early on, which, by all accounts, seems to have been the right move. Bought this on the strength of Sam Humphries, who is doing decent stuff on Uncanny X-Force. And i think i'm going to like this better. Can already tell i'm going to love the Doombot. But i'm not sure if i'm missing anything regarding the reason Pym was arrested by SHIELD; from what i saw here it seemed very unlikely that would happen. I actually didn't know Pym was going to feature so prominently in this series, which is probably for the best because i might have skipped it. I'm in it for a bunch of robots hanging out together. But even with Pym it seems like this is going to be a fun series. As an aside (but an important one!), i really wish someone would pull someone at Marvel aside and explain to them that Captain America is an absolute laughingstock in his current costume.

Young Avengers #6-7 - These continue to be great. I was missing McKelvie's art on #6 until we got to the guy in the Patriot suit doing a zombie-shuffle across the room; that was done really well by Kate Brown. Most of the issue was a downtime issue so it's hard to judge the art beyond that (although it was fine - Speed's facial expressions during the assembly sequence were more on the cartoony side than i initially liked but it could grow on me). And it was a good downtime issue. I must have read Prodigy's first appearance in the 2003 New Mutants series but i don't remember him and this was a great introduction and i really love the idea that he's using his knowledge to work at a super-hero (?) call center. Speed's "one second is a week" bit has been done before but it's the type of thing that bears repeating. Issue #7 was "downtime" as well (unless you count the Skifflefuffles in the beginning) but everything's building nicely.

FF #8 - Loved "Thing Rings, Do Your Thing". But i'm not comfortable with the characterization of two characters in this series. The first being Dr. Doom. Kidnapping a kid's parents and terrorizing a child and forcing him to do your bidding? Not how i like to see Dr. Doom portrayed. And Medusa - the idea that she is unapproachable royalty... i get the idea. But that ship sailed way back in Stan Lee's day and she wasn't on board. I saw Fraction do a little of that before and i hoped that would be the end of it, but it was really a focal point in this issue. Now maybe something happened (in Hickman's run) that explained this, but my policy is "if i don't know about it and there's no footnote, it's wrong!" and it really comes across like a much belated attempt at a do-over for her.

Captain Marvel #13 - To be fair, we're weirdly just getting the Captain Marvel parts of this Enemy Within crossover so i'm judging this based on only getting part of the story. At the same time the pacing on this seems to be such that it doesn't seem like we actually missed anything. All that said, it really does feel like with both Sebela and De Andrade not here, this book is missing vital components. The art... not great. If i wasn't being extra SuperSpeedy i would post this picture of Captain America because it is just hilariously bad. To give you an idea, he looks kind of like this. Plotwise, the idea that Earth is just loaded with Kree sentries seems outrageous to me.

Wolverine #5-6 - As i've said previously, i get so much Wolverine without even trying that i didn't need a Wolverine book, but Alan Davis' art was a draw. So now we've got these two issues, and guess who isn't on them? And remember last issue, when i was confused that the story clearly wasn't over but they were telling us it was over? Well, they've apparently redefined what a story arc means because these issues are a direct continuation of the previous four - seriously, this is just parts 5 and 6 of the story that started in issue #1 - just with a different artist. All that said... Paul Cornell has unloaded on us the fact that what we thought was a gun in the previous "arc" was really a Micronauts spaceship and i'm gonna say that makes it all worthwhile.

Iron Man #12 - I can't enjoy this because i'm just too nervous about what this story is saying about Tony Stark, which is that he was genetically programmed by a rogue Rigellian Recorder to be a super-genius. After some deep breaths, i am confident that Gillen will find a way to tell us it was all a big fake-out and then i can go back and read this in a more rational frame of mind. In the meantime, i do like Eaglesham's art.

Uncanny X-Force #7 - Silly Fantomex triplets stuff. It's good. But i'd prefer to get back to the full team and see a conclusion to the Demon Bear storyline at this point.

Uncanny Avengers #9 - In my local reading circle, i've been the hold out on this book. Everyone else is ready to drop it. And with this issue, i guess i'm ready to agree. It's the never-resolving petty arguments. I get that in theory this is supposed to be the book that deals with mutant/non-mutant tension. But it's not dealing with it. It's just every issue they bring it up again and everybody's yelling at each other. There's nothing Uncanny about it; it's the Angry Avengers. Bill Mantlo would be embarrassed. I did think one part of the argument was interesting. Not necessarily good. But when Rogue started talking about mutant culture and stuff like that, the response was that mutants aren't a "culture" and that being a mutant isn't like being an ethnic minority or gay or anything like that. And there's a real logic to that (not that it seemed to move Rogue one iota). But isn't that also backing away from the core theme of what mutants stand for at Marvel? Like, if you're going to point out the flaws in the comparison to real life discrimination, then what are we talking about here? What's the book supposed to be about? I think another factor here is that i could look past all that if the Apocalypse plot was moving. I mean, Apocalypse! But it's really dragging. Something about mummies and a last-page introduction to some resurrected heroes (conveniently both X- And Avengers characters). And apparently some off-panel killing of additional Celestials (did i read that right? And if so, did they really choose to rehash the X/Avengers fight scenes again instead of showing a child of Apocalypse fighting Celestials?). Compare to the Red Skull arc where the Red Skull and his silly minions were out front pretty much the whole time. I think we can trade-wait and/or bargain bin the rest of this.

Indestructible Hulk #9-10 - This is another one where someone needs to get pulled aside to be told "Psst, no one wants to see the Hulk wearing armor.". Anecdotally, this seems to be preventing people from trying out Mark Waid's Hulk run, which has been awesome. So let's cut it out. These issues were great - enjoyed the Daredevil "team-up", enjoyed seeing Baron Zemo.

Daredevil #27-28 - Two more really great Mark Waid issues. The first one concludes the weirdest Daredevil/Bullseye fight ever. The next one i was all ready to hate. Bringing back the bully that called Matt Murdock Daredevil? Really? But Waid handled it really well and i'm looking forward to the rest of this Sons of the Serpent storyline. The judge pulling out a gun in court was certainly something new. Foggy's cancer storyline is being handled nicely as well. Realistic, not maudlin.

X-Men #2 - For those who can't keep track of the adjectives, this is the all female/Brian Wood book. And it's really nice. Great characterization. Really nice art by Olivier Coipel. Nice pacing (especially if issue #3 really is the end of the arc as advertised and not another Wolverine fake-out). Just something as simple as making Kitty Pryde's "disruption of electronics while phasing" power a key point here was great. Paul O'Brien wrote about this issue that it "should have a lot of appeal to the more traditionally-minded X-Men reader" and holy god did that make me feel old, but yeah, if that's what you want to call it, sure. More like this, please.

CM 13: you want Fat Cap? I can give you Fat Cap.

i bet he has trouble scratching his own back.