Issue(s): NFL Superpro #3
Cover Date: Dec 91
Title: "Time out"
Credits:
Fabian Nicieza - Writer
Jose Delbo - Penciler
Charles Bennett - Inker
Bob Budiansky - Editor

Review/plot:
My second favorite thing about NFL Superpro is his football quips. But my favorite thing about NFL Superpro is when he's too dumb, angry, and flustered to come up with a football quip and he instead just blurts out something like, "Imma punch you in the face!".

For full disclosure's sake, that is actually a robot duplicate of Superpro above. But from what i have seen, the thing has been programmed perfectly, because that is exactly how he acts, right down to the "Huh--?".

The guy that is training with the robot is the one that we've been eagerly waiting for since last issue: Instant Replay, the man who walks through time. He's been hired by crime boss Marco Sanzionare, who also supplied the Superpro-bot, which was developed by Stane Industries.

God, just think: an army of NFL Superpro robots, all shouting "This is your last down, Iron Man!" and then "Huh--?" in perfect unison.

Anyway, i know it's too late, but don't get your hopes up about Instant Replay. Seriously, just try to forget him. This issue is actually about a gang of thugs that mug people for their Eagles paraphernalia. And that's a plot worthy of NFL Superpro all on its own, i have to admit.

Again NFL Superpro fumbles the football quip. How about, "It says, 'You've just been intercepted!'". Are you even trying, Superpro? Sometimes i wonder if Superpro isn't happy with the niche that he's settled into. Here he is loudly sighing when the cops call him "that football hero-guy".

No, not "close enough". That is literally what you are. Why are you fighting it?

The additional angle in this story is that the ringleader is nephew to Ken Reid, NFL Superpro's cameraman (when Superpro is in his civilian identity as reporter Phil Grayfield)(not that Superpro shouldn't have a cameraman recording his exploits at all times). Reid's nephew is stealing garbage from random Eagles fans because he was cut from the team. That'll show 'em! But the nephew draws the line at violence, unlike some of his gang members, and he eventually turns himself in and rats out his friends. But not until after the cops show up at his front door, and not before the gang picks on some developmentally challenged kids.

That's a great comeback. "Please! These kids are developmentally slow." "Well so are we!"

Alright, i know what you're thinking. What about Instant Replay? As i warned you, he's got nothing to do with the main plot of this issue. But he shows up and attacks NFL Superpro in the middle, equally confusing Superpro and the writer of this book's cousin (granted, with Superpro, it doesn't take much).

It is a brief and terrible showing by this supposedly awesome assassin character.

"Yeah, some guy attacked me, but he fell on some golf clubs, and you know how that can be. Eh, he's not important."

I also want to say that Instant Replay has nothing to do with instant replays! I assumed that Instant Replay's power would be that he could rewind a portion of the fight where he missed a punch or something and do it right the second time, or he could replay and super-analyze his opponents' moves, or something like that. But he's just a teleporter. This book is really letting me down all over the place. Except for the fact that the main crime in this book is stealing peoples' Eagles hats. That is exactly what i want this book to be about.

Anyway, it is time for Marco Sanzionare to take matters into his own hands.

But i'm not falling for it again. After Instant Replay failed to do a goddamn thing, i am no longer getting excited about the villain that is announced at the end of an issue.

Quality Rating: D

Historical Significance Rating: 1

Chronological Placement Considerations: N/A

References: N/A

Crossover: N/A

Continuity Insert? N

My Reprint: N/A

All that advance warning, and Instant Replay *still* let me down.

Oh my...sniff...I rarely laugh so hard by myself. As if you need an Instant Replay.
First Down, Super Monkeys!

In the event of a Skateman/ Football Hero Guy/ Jack Russell, Werewolf by Night crossover special announced on Kickstarter, please e-mail me. Thanks.

Your reviews kinda make me want to go out and find copies of Superpro to read. I'm not sure that this is the intention, but whatever.

Anyway, I like to believe that in the Marvel Universe, Superpro was involved in the OJ Simpson trial.

This issue is actually about a gang of thugs that mug people for their Eagles paraphernalia.

At first I thought this referred to Eagles the rock band, and I was like, jeez, I know they kinda suck, but that's harsh!

The ironic thing is that NFL Superpro's cameraman shares the same last name as Andy Reid, the love-him/hate-him coach that got the Eagles to the Super Bowl in '04/'05. (whether or not we could have won that game because the Pats cheated is another story)

Marco Sanzionare sounds like the name of a daytime TV soap opera villain. With the black turtleneck, jewelry and beaver-tail hair, he's like a cross between Ethan Allan (the historical figure, not the furniture), Bob Guccione, and a CIA Black Ops agent.

I know fnord doesnt like for us to respond to illuminati spam. I just love seeing a taste of what you get. and that it is on Superpro #4 no less.