SuperMegaMonkey
John Averick: ChronosCat: ChronosCat: ChronosCat: ChronosCat: |
1968-01-01 21:22:25 Destroy All MonstersAlternate Titles: Charge of the Monsters
Destroy All Monsters was intended to be the last Godzilla movie (the first of many such intentions) and Toho decided to go out with a bang, jumping ahead to the distant year of 1999 and bringing in kaiju from many of their past movies, including some that had never encountered Godzilla before (i won't list all of the movies, but you can of course click on any of the monster names at the bottom of this entry to see their previous appearances). This movie is one of the nexus points of the Tohoverse, because it has kaiju from so many movies and basically allows us to pretend that they are all part of the same universe. We only have the English dubbed version of this film and it is kind of a disaster. Hilariously stilted and awkward dialogue and some inexplicable lines that just can't have been in the original (we'll get to them). On top of that, the first time we saw this movie we were pretty disappointed because the monsters largely take a back seat to a science fiction plot with the humans that follows the same basic plot as Monster Zero but winds up making less sense and being less satisfying. As an aside, i really want to say that the Planet X aliens that "escape[d] to the future" in that movie are the same ones appearing in 1999 here, but i can't rightly claim that is the case, for various reasons. But in any event, on repeat watchings as part of our annual marathons, i've come to enjoy the movie at least for the opportunity to see so many monsters at once, especially during the end fight. We begin at "Monster Land", as the dubbed version refers to Monster Island, where all of Earth's monsters have been rounded up and imprisoned. The monsters are "confined within scientific walls, each according to their own instincts and habits". A "magnetic wall" prevents Rodan (and presumably the other flying monsers) from flying away, and gas towers surrounding the island keep them from wandering out to sea. They've even trapped Mothra, who has always been a friend to humanity. The monsters are monitored by a group of United Nations Scientific Committee scientists... The scientists are breeding new types of fish and also launching shuttles to an exploratory base on the moon on a daily basis. Our lead astronaut is Captain Yamabe, played by Akira Kubo, pilot of the Rocket SY-3. He gives a call to the scientists at Monster Land, who include Dr. Otani (Yoshio Tsuchiya) and Kyoko Manabe (Yukiko Kobayashi). I guess Kyoko is new to the project, so this conversation occurs: Some things haven't changed by 1999. During the call, Captain Yamabe says "I think there are monsters on the moon, too." and then laughs hysterically without explaining himself. But then there's trouble at the base on Earth. So naturally, the scientists "check out the trouble circuit", but say it's "no good!" (There's a panel of indicator lights at my job that don't connect to anything we know of. One of them is labeled "Trouble".) Then they notice gas seeping in under a door, so naturally they all rush over to the door to open it. Because that's totally what you should do. The gas affects the monsters too. Rodan, in mid flight, lands on Anguirus' spiky back, which surely isn't pleasant for anyone. Min raises a good question here: why has the army never tried using gas on monsters before 1999? We did have the Soma berries that were used against King Kong, but besides that, it hasn't been tried. And it's clearly quite effective. Back at the UN, they realize that their attempts to monitor Monster Land are being jammed. Our main guy at the UN is Dr. Yoshido, played by Jun Tazaki. His number two, the white guy to his right below, is Dr. Stevenson, played by Andrew Hughes. Hughes does not do his own dubbing for this film (i hope), and his voice sounds like Woodhouse from Archer if Woodhouse were 30 years older. Judging from his voice, the man is on death's door. We next hear a guy with a hilarious Russian accent announcing that Rodan is attacking Moscow... ...and soon there are reports of monsters attacking major cities all over the world. Baragon is reported to be in Paris, but it's actually Gorosaurus. The story here is that Baragon was intended for this scene, but his costume was out on loan for an episode of Ultraman. So they just substituted Gorosaurus and didn't change the script. They even have him burrowing like Baragon. Let's face it; they had no idea people would be obsessing about these movies decades later and probably figured no one would know the difference. But i would have never figured Gorasaurus for a burrowing monster. Not with those puny arms. Godzilla is in New York... ...and there are other attacks reported: Mothra in Beiping, and Manda in London. Tokyo is mysteriously spared. What i'm going to describe next is craziest bit of dubbed dialogue ever included in a movie. It's so good i tried to produce a video clip of it, but Toho is apparently very vigilant about even small clips of their movies being put on Youtube, so i'm unable to post it. Maybe they'll care less about an audio clip, so we'll provide that along with a transcription. I assure you there is no context for that 20 year old typhoon and it's never referenced again. Meanwhile, back up on the Moon, Captain Yamabe spots not a monster, but a flying saucer. He then gets a call from Dr. Yoshido. And this is where we need to start working on our communication skills, people. Because Yamabe doesn't tell Yoshido about the UFO, and Yoshido doesn't tell Yamabe why he wants him to return to Earth and go to Monster Island. Wow. There's a mind-control element to this plot, and i always see that scene and think that Yoshido is affected. But he's not. Maybe he's just tired again. Only when Yamabe calls Yoshido back to tell him that they've landed does he say, "Good. Some creature has taken over there." (Er...thanks for letting us know you were sending us directly into danger.) Actually, he finds that the Monster Land scientists are being mind controlled by this lady. Her outfit is so disco. She is the Queen of the Kilaks (played by Kyoko Ai). She claims that she is not an enemy, and she just wants to build a new scientific civilization on Earth with the help of you people. And sure, some people are going to have to get mind controlled or trampled by giant monsters along the way, but that's just the price of progress. On the location of Kilak, she says, "There are many small planets moving between Mars to Jupiter." Yamabe asks one of the mind controlled scientists, "Do you really believe that?", and they reply "Yes I do". Oh, well, then I guess I believe it, too. The Queen is protected with by a personal forcefield... ...but the astronauts still manage to have a nice shoot out with the mind controlled minions, and they manage to bring back one of the scientists. Meanwhile, the monsters that had been avoiding Japan suddenly all start attacking there. Here's a nice Godzilla/Manda team-up. Where are your fancy, monster-containing gases now? The army has some high tech vehicles to respond with... ...but even in the future of 1999 they still haven't solved that one basic problem of actually being able to hit their targets with any consistency. I know Manda is a snake, but he's a slow moving, giant snake, not the slithery quick-striking kind. He lumbers down the street like all the other monsters, and he's just as lucky when it comes to missiles whizzing right past him. Also funny is a scene with the Mothra larva on a train track. The train coming the other way makes no effort to slow down, but just honks repeatedly. Get off the rails, you stupid caterpillar! She doesn't, though, and of course the train crashes and is destroyed. Meanwhile, the mind-controlled scientist is resisting interrogation, and he suddenly runs and jumps out a window, falling to his death. A factual observation: there doesn't seem have been a lot of safety going on back in the 1960s. People are constantly falling off cliffs and trails at tourist attractions, and you could apparently open the windows on the 20th floor and walk right out. There wasn't even a screen. Look, it's all about personal responsibility. If you don't know well enough not to stand at the edge of a cliff, well...you can't expect society to babysit you. Anyway, the Kilaks show up and try to collect the body, and have our protagonists staring down the barrels of their laser guns. But then some guys come around from some rocks and the aliens are like, "Oh no, it's Secret Police!" or something, and they run away. I guess they are just the grounds' security guards, but you'd think they were big time super-heroes. Wondering why the aliens would want the body, the UN scientists investigate and find a huge scar on the back of his neck. Surgery discovers a tiny device underneath the scar. "Was he hard of hearing?", asks the doctor. "No.", is the reply. "It's not a hearing aid", says the doctor. This is not my idea of thorough analysis. It gets better, too. After more investigation, the next statement is, "It's hard to tell what it is, but i think it's some kind of metal". Wow. Where are the Toho know-it-all scientists that we've come to know and love? Ok, some progress, immediately following the last statement: "I can tell you right now that this is some sort of miniature transporter. But why would they put something like this inside his body?" Ok, wow, maybe for the mind control? Immediately going from barely recognizing that the object is made of metal to identifying it as a "transporter" and then not being able to connect that with the victim's weird behavior. Ok, we'll take it from here, doctor. You go take a nap. Someone at the UN is a little brighter than that guy, though, and they're able to trace the signal from that device and, by doing that, find out how the monsters are being controlled. But it's not as simple as "the monsters have devices implanted in them, too". Oh no. The Kilaks have hidden control devices all over the world, in random locations and random objects. It turns out that the reason Japan was initially spared from the attack was because the Kilaks wanted to drive everyone's eyes away from the area so that they could build a base at Mt. Fuji. There's a parallel plot where the female Monster Island scientist, Kyoko, still mind controlled, shows up at the UN's base of operations and delivers a message about surrendering ("The monsters will go back and let everyone live in peace if they'll accept Kilak rule"). The good guys respond first by checking her neck for scars, and then realizing that the mind control devices are in her earrings, so they tear the earrings off. It's violent and bloody - there is a LOT of blood in her ears (well, not anymore) - and especially disturbing because she's not resisting, so they could have just taken them off normally. When the earrings are off, Kyoko remembers nothing, and doesn't know the exact location of the Kilak base. But that's no problem. Dr. Yoshido tells Captain Yamabe, "You'll go underground with your space ship". Well, um, sure boss. He's tired! Don't question him! Remember the typhoon! But when they arrive in the general area, they find that Godzilla has been deployed to protect the base. Actually, Godzilla kind of sneaks up on them when they are trying to land the rocket. Because it's hard to notice a 150 foot monster on a rocket landing site. The rocket retreats, and Godzilla turns his attention to the high tech army vehicles that have gathered. The army responds by shooting missiles past Godzilla. One hit! I saw one hit! ...most of them are not hitting, though. Anguirus shows up too. "Why those!", says one army guy, as they retreat. During the battle, Yamabe sees a UFO and realizes this all has something to do with those Kilaks! Yeah! Eventually he finds a secret entrance to their base (the old wind blowing out of the cave trick from Mysterians). But it soon turns out that the Kilaks know that they are there. They do spot the UFO, and the Queen says, "So NOW you're convinced we're from outer space". Was that really in doubt?! She also tells them, "The Earth does not belong to you people. Fuji's secret underground area belongs to every man, woman, and child in the Kilak race. And if you fools interfere any more... you'll die." The astronauts are allowed to leave with that message. The SY-3 rocket then goes around and collects all the hidden monster control devices. They are hidden in rocks and coconuts and inside clam shells. The Kilaks are crafty. The humans try to reverse engineer the waves so that they can take control of the monsters, but they find that there is interference coming from the moon. So the SY-3 is sent back into space. As i mentioned in the beginning, up on the moon is a human manned moonbase, and the head guy up there has apparently gone mad from the isolation. When the SY-3 crew first make contact with him, he says, "We won't land.". Well, yeah, dude, you're already on the ground. Then: The Moonbase captain is later shown looking confused and wandering around in his own control room, finally sitting in frustration in someone else's seat. And then even later, the UN on earth gives him a call asking for a status report. He says, "We CAN'T tell what's happening yet." When they call again, one of his underlings picks up, and he looks at him in anger and says, "That's enough!" and makes him hang up. I honestly have no idea what's supposed to be going on in those scenes. There's no explanation for it. But it's hilarious. Back to the action. The SY-3 locates the Kilak's moon base, and they "go underground" to land. I should mention that after the last few movies of surf and jazz soundtracks, Akira Ifukube is back with an odd time marching score, and Min dutifully counts out the beats as the movie rolls. The SY-3 is attacked by flame throwers on their way down, but the crew is just so bored of that. "Fuel off. Cooler ready.", like they've done it a thousand times. When they land, they roll out their little car. A little car with a powerful laser. They bust open the door to the moon base, and all the aliens immediately collapse. Luckily, our characters have a ready explanation for this. They're from Kilak. It seems they can only exist in a hot climate. We broke down their wall, and the temperature went down. More to the point, they turn into little worm things when it gets cooler. Dr. Stevenson will later explain that they are even still alive in their worm form but they become dormant until exposed to vast heat. The astronauts locate the device that is (really this time) controlling the monsters, and there is an extremely tense (by which i mean excruciatingly long and boring) sequence where they use the laser from their little car to cut the wire on the device. After that is done, Godzilla shows up to attack Tokyo again. Literally again, it's the same footage from before when he came out of the water to team-up with Manda. But this time, Dr. Yoshido is able to use the reverse-engineered mind control technology to stop Godzilla from rampaging. It's like we went back in time and got a second chance! The monsters are all sent to Mt. Fuji to attack the Kilaks that are still stationed there. We've got Minilla (or Minya in the dub)... ...followed closely by his father Godzilla. Then there's Baragon and Manda, who are kind of tired and are going to sit this one out, you guys. Gorosaurus, who is still trying to help his buddy Baragon out by pretending that he's a burrowing creature. Kumonga, who is called Spiga in the dub. Varan sails in on a string to sit next to Baragon and Manda. Like them, he'll be on the sidelines for this fight. It's only fair, since he hadn't even been mentioned in the movie prior to this. Anguirus and Mothra are also in attendance. Here's the frontline crew. The arrival of each monster is announced by an enthusiastic narrator, who maybe thinks we're at a pro-wrestling event and not a Save The World situation. This is serious, dude. Quit being so campy. The Kilaks have a back-up plan, though. We all recognize this sequence: Now i grant you that King Ghidorah is a bad ass. But in the past he has been taken out by just Godzilla, Mothra, and Rodan, and then by just Godzilla and Rodan. So i don't know how he's going to take on this many monsters. I'm also not sure if the Kilaks are mind-controlling him or if they've just made a deal of some kind. Can you form an alliance with a giant space monster? The Planet X-ers prolly rented him out to the Kilaks. Mothra and Kumonga play a supporting role in this, staying to the sides and spraying Ghidora with silk and/or webbing. Anguirus meanwhile gets a nasty bite in and hangs onto King Ghidorah's neck like a rottweiler, even as Ghidorah takes to the air. Ghidorah eventually bites Anguirus with his other heads, and Anguirus falls to the ground. Ghidorah then lands on top of him and jumps up and down, undeterred by Anguirus' spikes. Anguirus' fall causes an avalanche that exposes the underground base of the Kilaks. During the fight, the mind control technology suddenly goes out. So now the humans aren't in control of their monsters. But luckily all the monsters agree to fight for their respective sides anyway. "The monsters will fight even without machines. They know their enemies by natural instinct." I actually would have thought this might have resulted in some quick negotiations. Ok, Mothra is a good guy and Godzilla has been mellowing lately. And since Godzilla is King of the Monsters, probably a few others are going to side with him too. But aren't these guys at all upset with having been trapped on Monster Island? I have Kumonga, especially, pegged as someone who might consider teaming-up with Ghidorah. One of the most surprising things about this fight is the amount of play that Gorosaurus gets. Gorosaurus is a pretty terrible looking creature, Toho's attempt at making a real dinosaur, and since he's supposed to look real i find it hard to accept him the way i can the purely fantastical Godzilla. He is also a pretty minor character whose original purpose was just to allow Toho's King Kong to replay some scenes from the original 1933 movie (there's also a size discrepancy, since Kong was shrunk down to 60 feet for King Kong Escapes and Gorosaurus was a similar height, whereas Godzilla is 150 feet tall). But in this movie, he's Godzilla's team-up buddy. They do the "i'll fight him from the front, you fight him from the rear" move that worked so well in past fights against King Ghidorah. Ghidorah is actually the one opponent that you'd think this wouldn't work for, since he's got three heads. Gorosaurus is still doing his kangaroo kick. The main strategy is to keep pounding on the neck wounded by Anguirus. I was so sure this is why Ghidorah becomes Mecha-Ghidorah, but Fnord assures me that it's not. Yeah, that doesn't even happen until the Heisei era. Eventually it works, and Ghidorah is downed. Minilla delivers the coup de grace. Here's your shot proving that Kumonga/Spiga was actually filmed for this movie. For the most part he's shown in shots by himself and you may think that he's just being depicted with stock footage. Throughout all of this, Varan, Baragon, and Manda are not heard from. What is with those guys? During the main battle, Rodan discovers a "burning monster". "Burning monster? I've never heard of one.", say the humans. And these guys surely have their kaiju properly cataloged. "It's from space, and it's alive!" That is untrue, as we'll learn in a minute. Meanwhile, Godzilla further inspects the hidden base that Anguirus uncovered (or does he think it's a nice egg to eat for breakfast?). He blasts the base open, letting in air, cooled by the gentle breeze of his radioactive breath, which converts the remaining Kilaks to their worm form. The SY-3 guys lend a hand against the "fire dragon"... ...which incredibly disappointingly turns out to just be a flying saucer. I guess it being the final film (in theory) and with so many monsters already, there was no point in designing a new one. But King Ghidorah could really have used a hand, and throwing some cheap animation over your flying saucer hardly makes for a dramatic finale. The fire dragon did make it into my favorite Godzilla Nintendo game, though (seen here along with Manda). With it all over, the monsters seem to agree to get locked up again in Monster Land. One final look at our guys. As i said at the top, it's a fun movie but it drags a lot in the middle. Just typing up all that stuff about the humans running around was pretty exhausting. Be thankful i didn't describing the thrilling wire cutting scene in more detail. Zzzzzzz... In terms of placement/chronology, i've already speculated for fun that the previous Godzilla movies also took place in the future, considering the technology that's been on display. And the movies that take place after this one basically act as if this movie has already occurred: the existence of Monster Island and the return of Anguirus (who becomes a regular going forward), for example. Also, this way we don't have to explain the absence of all the monsters that debuted after this movie was released (i.e., where's Megalon or King Caesar?). And it's worth noting that Minilla hasn't aged a day. So despite the in-story future date, i've placed this by the real world release date, just like any other movie. I also want to put it out there for those of you too young to have lived through it: this is exactly how it all happened back in 1999 and it's too bad you missed it. It was a real thrill. Mothra sneaking up on that train was pretty impressive, too. The irony is that in this future, the UN seem to be able to train a camera on the monsters anywhere in the world, when they actually want to. Which makes sense. It's the future. Satellites! But the monsters still continually surprise them. Monsters Appearing: Anguirus, Baragon, Godzilla, Gorosaurus, King Ghidorah, Kumonga, Manda, Minilla, Mothra, Rodan, Varan CommentsI haven't read all this but oh god you're going with the god awful dub? I counted the number of times they just said 'right' for 'yes/got it/' and I swear it was over 30 times in a 90 minute movie. RIGHT! Should have gotten the blu-ray which has an awesome commentary. Posted by: david banes | August 16, 2015 12:49 AM I remember my friend telling me that 'Godzilla goes to New York in this movie!' then being disappointed. The Godzilla 1998 being in New York got me excited then....ugh. Since King Kong I have always wanted a giant monster in New York. The closest was Cloverfield but I left still wanting more. Posted by: mdentlogan | August 20, 2015 10:52 AM You can see a difference in the sets. I dunno I see the Tokyo set and go 'yeah looks like Tokyo.' I saw the New York set and it certainly looks different and American. Goes to show the talent in set building. Posted by: david banes | August 20, 2015 1:12 PM Godzilla scene in New York just wasn't long enough for me. I wanted him to take down some classic New York landmarks. Posted by: mdentlogan | August 20, 2015 2:41 PM In 1973, a book called "A Pictorial History of Horror Movies" by British comics historian Denis Gifford had a very weird photo from this movie. Ghidorah isn't shown in it, and the picture makes it look like Godzilla and Kumonga are beating up on Baragon. And weirdest of all: Ebirah is clearly visible in the background. Posted by: Mark Drummond | August 22, 2015 12:50 PM Forgot to mention: Manda isn't in the picture, but Kamacuras is. Posted by: Mark Drummond | August 22, 2015 1:06 PM One of my fondest father/daughter memories—and one to which I’m sure Professor Joe can relate—is of taking Alexandra, still knee-high to a Gimantis at the time, to a modest Kaiju Con in Manhattan, where I then worked. As I recall, we didn’t do major damage in the dealer’s room, but the pick of the litter for me, back in the days before the ubiquity of DVDs, was a letterboxed and subtitled VHS copy of this film ostensibly straight from the horse’s mouth, i.e., Toho Video itself. Needless to say, I didn’t futz around with any Starz broadcast of that baby (although, upon re-examining it, I am now chagrined to suspect it’s a bootleg), and I saved it for my final viewing because…well, just because it’s Destroy All Monsters, which I’m sure occupies a special place in any true G-fan’s heart. Yet it’s a bittersweet experience, and not just because it marks the end of my nostalgic trip down Showa Lane; I’m clearly not the only one who, while fond of it, was ultimately somewhat disappointed with this film. Apparently, Godzilla’s ticket sales had been declining, so after two cut-price Fukuda entries—which didn’t even score Stateside theatrical release—Toho bumped the budget back up, reconvening the Honda/Tsuburaya/Ifukube Dream Team one last time (Eiji outliving its release by less than two years) and pulling out all the stops for what was originally envisioned as the Big G’s swan song. Yet as great as “Gid[o]rah vs. Everybody” may sound on paper, the overall kaiju action is actually relatively modest, with the pace seriously flagging during such scenes as the sojourn on the moon, and even the climactic battle is a little less than the sum of its parts. Obviously, we’d have trouble following the action if they crammed Ghidrah and all 10 of his opponents onto the screen at the same time, so there’s something to be said for the apparent approach as the sub-teams converge on him from opposite directions. In the event, though, the heavy lifting is done by only three monsters, two of whom had only one prior appearance apiece (Angilas in Godzilla Raids Again and Gorosaurus in King Kong Escapes), rather than relying on the “Big Three” who had defeated him before, as one might expect. In fact, I find most striking not how many kaiju are assembled for this extravaganza, but how disproportionate their screen time is; okay, Varan—not even named—is justifiably obscure, but since he’s only glimpsed twice, you wonder why they bothered, although you’ve already addressed Baragon’s paucity of screen time. Yet I don’t wish to dwell on the negatives, and despite the uneven participation, that battle is admittedly a humdinger, with Angilas in particular earning his stripes, latching onto Ghidrah’s neck like a pit pull while lifted to, and then dropped from, a great height. Maestro Ifukube’s score is among his best, not only the stirring title march but also the brief pre-credit flourish as the monolithic title rises onscreen, and the frenetic “busy bee” music as the astronauts cut through the Kilaaks’ gizmo with the laser. Kubo, Tazaki, and Tsuchiya are of course always welcome, and the subtitled version eliminates at least some of the lunacy with the dialogue. Posted by: Matthew Bradley | January 22, 2018 2:49 PM I chose to watch this at the end of the Showa Godzilla series, and while it may be far from perfect, it makes a much better end to the series than Terror of Mechagodzilla (or War in Space). One interesting effect of this order is that in addition to the battles with Ghidorah filmed before this movie, I had also seen Ghidorah defeated by Godzilla and Angurius, and by Zone Fighter single-handed (albeit with a bit more trouble than an average Terror-Beast). So when the Kilaks were all "Earth Monsters can't defeat Ghidorah!" I was thinking, "Yeah, right. Against all of these monsters? He doesn't stand a chance." And I was right. Considering how powerful he was portrayed as in his first two appearances, seeing Ghidorah defeated so easily (and in what was meant as the movie's climax) was a bit of a disappointment. On the other hand, in all his other appearances he escaped, but here he appears to die, so it did feel like a long-running plot-thread had finally been tied up. Posted by: ChronosCat | February 8, 2018 1:32 AM Comments are now closed. |
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