Alternate Titles: Godzilla vs. Cosmic Monster, Godzilla vs. Bionic Monster
Year: 1974
Director: Jun Fukuda
Special Effects Director: Teruyoshi Nakano
In The Suit: Isao Zushi (Godzilla), Ise Mori (Mechagodzilla), Kinichi Kusumi (Anguirus & King Caesar)

With this film, Toho gets more serious. I mean that in terms of the plotline (which, i mean, we're comparing it to vs. Megalon here), but moreso in terms of the budget. If there is any recycled footage in this film, i didn't notice. And Toho introduces two new monsters without bringing back any old villains (which prevented the use of stock footage). The new villain monster, Mechagodzilla, has a tremendous amount of firepower, necessitating the use of a lot of special effects. And Toho even gets creative with the special effects for the little people portion of the movie by introducing aliens that can actually become alien looking for once. To be clear, this is still a movie about aliens trying to take over the world and giant monsters fighting each other, but the overall tone and level of quality is better than previous movies. But it still retains the fun and campy feel of the later Showa period movies.

Anguirus actually plays a large part in this movie. He was last seen falling into a crevice during Megalon, and we like to think that at the beginning of this movie he's just emerging to find himself in Antarctica.

Must have been one hell of a crevice.

It's just as likely that he's off on another mission for Godzilla, though.

After briefly seeing him, the scene shifts to Okinawa during the opening credits. We see images of Sisha, Okinawa's version of Chinese Fu Dogs.

And they look just as much like actual dogs as the Chinese ones.

Also on the island is a woman said to be an Azumi priestess, a direct descendent of the local ruling family.

And watching her perform a traditional dance are brothers Keisuke and Masahiko Shimizu. Masahiko is played by Kazuya Aoyama, the same actor that portrayed Zone Fighter.

For once, two brothers that aren't decades apart in age.

While the Shimizu brothers are watching, the Azumi priestess has a prophetic vision. Strangely, the vision includes an image of Ghidorah, who otherwise does not appear in this film at all.

She predicts the destruction of the Earth by a monster.

Please. That's hardly a prediction. This is Toho's Japan. There are always monsters.

Keisuke and Masahiko return the priestess to her fake-old grandfather (Were there no actual old people in Japan?)...

...and then leave the ceremony. Masahiko is just visiting his brother on the island, so he takes off to go exploring while Keisuke goes back to work. While he's exploring in a cave, he finds a glowing, buzzing piece of metal. Dude! That has got to be radioactive, don't just go picking it up with your bare hands.

Why is Zone Fighter always finding junk left behind by aliens?

Keisuke says that he works at a marina, but he is apparently also overseeing a construction site, and he's called in to look at an underground temple that the workers have unearthed. An archeologist named Saeko Kaneshiro (played by Reiko Tajima) manages to get past the hordes of reporters that are swarming the cave entrance and helps with translating the runes on the walls and identifying the Sisha statue found there. She clarifies the prophecy from the priestess, talking about a black mountain appearing in the sky, two red suns, and then a monster appearing to destroy the world and two monsters arising to stop him.

Keisuke agrees to let Saeko take the statue back to mainland Japan to bring to a professor that is an expert in this particular era. On the plane ride home, they see black smoke in the sky that looks like a mountain, starting off the prophesy. When they arrive, it turns out that Keisuke has been keeping it a secret that the professor Saeko wanted to see is actually his uncle, which she correctly identifies as kind of a dick move.

Masahiko, meanwhile, brings his radioactive metal to a different professor.

Squeeee!! Two scientists! There's gonna be so much science-splaining!

Both of the above professors are Toho mainstays. The archeologist, Professor Wagura, is played by Hiroshi Koizumi has been with us since Godzilla Raids Again and the physicist, Professor Miyajima, is played by Akihiko Hirata, who's been with us since the very first Godzilla film. Both usually play scientists. More recent movies have been light on the smug certainty of Toho scientists, so it's good to have them back.

Professor Miyajima takes one quick look at Masahiko's buzzing metal chip and says, "This material can only be space titanium".

Where's my fucking drink?

Two guys show up to talk to Keisuke and Saeko. One of whom has a mustache so is clearly a bad guy.

And the other guy who seems equally shady (pun acknowledged) but who will turn out to not be bad.

While Keisuke is resting and listening to radio reports on recent earthquakes ("There are those that say a huge living being is moving underground."), he hears someone moving around in the house and finds that mustache man has come to steal the statue. Keisuke fights him off and gives chase when he flees.

Marine Biologist, Action Hero!

Meanwhile, on nearby Mount Fuji, Godzilla emerges and roars.

Fnord: [in mock surprise] That's not Godzilla's roar!
Min: Must be an American Godzilla.

Back in Okinawa, the fake old grandfather reveals some longstanding gripes that he has with mainland Japan. He starts by comforting his granddaughter, telling her how in the past, in times of trouble, King Caesar had emerged to save their island. But he quickly pivots from that to praying to Godzilla to destroy Okinawa's enemies, the Japanese. This required me to do a little historical research (i.e. a quick read of a Wikipedia page), where i saw that Okinawa is at the very southern tip of Japanese territory, nearly as close to Taiwan or Shanghai as it is to mainland Japan (which explains the similarities between their Sisha and Chinese Fu Dogs). Japan didn't fully take over Okinawa until the late 1800s. And by the way, "Caesar" in this case is the Americanization of King Sisha, which explains how a Japanese god seemingly got the name for Roman kings.

Anyway, back to "Godzilla". Anguirus shows up and clearly doesn't like the cut of his jib, and they get into a fight.

During the fight, a chip of Godzilla's skin comes off, revealing shiny metal.

Anguirus sees that and clearly knows something is up.

I think Anguirus would have very much liked to slip away at this point and go report back to the real Godzilla. I love the idea of Anguirus as sort of an agent of Godzilla, as we saw in Godzilla vs. Gigan.

But this Godzilla won't let Anguirus get away.

As they fight, Professor Miyajima and Masahiko head out to watch them up close. They realize something is wrong, too. "Anguirus shouldn't attack his friend, Godzilla."

The fight does not go well for Anguirus, and every time i worry that it's going to end in Anguirus' death. This is the death grip move, after all.

But Anguirus does manage to scurry away and get back underground.

After the fight, Professor Miyajima discovers another, even larger piece of glowing, buzzing metal. And of course scoops it up and brings it home. While he's home, he shows off his nifty pipe, which is so super-sciencey that the subtitle translator just gave up.

I would normally just quote the following madness to try (vainly) to reduce the number of images on this page, but i couldn't not show the professor's smug expression as he concludes.

Destroying what? Stop doing that!

We next see fake Godzilla going on a rampage, blasting an industrial area with his obviously incorrectly colored breath.

But it turns out there's a surprise waiting for him. Another Godzilla pops out of a building.

Did they build the building around Godzilla?

The two Godzillas confront each other.

And we see someone observing this on a viewscreen.

Hey, is this one of those American-made Godzilla movies? Why are we being shown the monster confrontation on a tiny tv?? Goddamned American Godzilla. *shakes fist*

"Now i understand", says Professor Miyajima. "It's a cyborg made of space metal. You could call it a Mechagodzilla.". Indeed, the alien boss calls it Mechagodzilla in an adjacent scene. So called it. And that's not all Miyajima knows. "I'm sure that Mechagodzilla is being remotely controlled by a spaceman."

By the way, the alien leader is pretty mellow for a villain. With every setback, he's like eh, oh well. We'll have to postpone our attack on Tokyo. He is a little worried about the fact that the Sisha statue has been deciphered. "We'll be in trouble if King Caesar brings other monsters to life." Uh, other monsters to life? What's that about?

Plus, you know you're attacking Japan, right?! Lots of monsters?

Meanwhile, Godzilla comes to a similar conclusion as everyone else. After a quick "hrrrrrmmm", he blasts his doppelganger with his radioactive breath.

When in doubt, always go with the radioactive breath weapon.

And that burns off the fake Godzilla's outer layer, revealing the true Mechagodzilla underneath.

Mechagodzilla attacks Godzilla with a rainbow blast.

Godzilla counteracts it with a blast of his own...

...resulting in a backlash that throws Godzilla into the water, seemingly killing him (but we of course know better), and damaging Mechagodzilla to the point where the aliens decide to recall him.

So, so far you should have written down "rainbow blast" and "flight" among Mechagodzilla's power set.

The middle of the movie slows down a bit at we get into some shenanigans as all the characters return to Okinawa. Keisuke and Saeko don't go with the others on a plane in a vain attempt to throw off their pursuers. They instead take a cruise ship. It doesn't work, though, and mustache man makes another attempt at stealing the statue. During the various scuffles, mustache man is shot in the eye, but instead of dying, he turns into a gorilla man.

Planet of the Apes came out in 1968, but it had grown into a real franchise by now. Actually at this point the quality of those movies had declined and, maybe roughly like a parallel to Toho and Zone Fighter, had turned into a television series at this point. (Note to self: "Planet of the Apes Chronology Project". Erg. Please no.)

Keisuke is surreptitiously helped by the other shady guy during his fight with the ape man, but it's thought that the Sisha went overboard with him. Until it turns out that Keisuke had the statue swapped with a duplicate without telling Saeko. Another jerk move.

Thanks for putting my life in danger, Marine Biologist, Action Hero.

Meanwhile, we see that Godzilla has of course survived, and he seems to be recharging himself with lightning.

There's a history here. Recall that in King Kong vs. Godzilla, Godzilla was said to be repelled by electricity while King Kong thrived on it. Then, in Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, a movie that was originally intended for King Kong, Godzilla inherited King Kong's lightning absorption trait. So that's partially what's going on here. But there's more to it as we'll see at the end of this movie for the latest entry in Godzilla's Weird Powers.

You'll notice that once again no one has bothered to call the police when, say, their house was broken into. But it does turn out that Shady Guy is actually an Interpol agent tracking suspicious (alien) activity, and he joins up with the group. Which, good thing, because the people that went to Okinawa by plane have been captured by the aliens. Professor Miyajima proudly states that he knew all along that it was spacemen, and the mellow alien leader confirms exactly where they are from. I love how it's "Black Hole, Outer Space", like it's an address.

Miyajima is forced to repair Mechagodzilla, and then they are all put in an elaborate death trap involving steam. (Why don't the aliens just shoot them?) As the Interpol agent and marine biologist action hero bluff and fight their way into the alien base...

...the ones in the trap struggle to avoid the scalding steam and ignore the helpful lighted thermostat cheerfully indicating just how dead they should already be. Turn into Zone Fighter!

They do manage to fight their way out, with the mellow alien leader just kind of shrugging it all off. The aliens do try the old "bomb in the car" trick, but the good guys avoid it the same way they did in vs. Gigan, by letting the car roll off in neutral without anyone being in it when it explodes.

That was a totally different car!

But then the good guys decide to split up, with Interpol, Zone Fighter, and Prof. Miyajima deciding to go back into the alien base to destroy the computer that controls Mechagodzilla, while the others go to Azumi Castle to get the statue to the priestess to fulfill the prophecy. It turns out the Azumi people are being menaced by gorilla aliens too.

But luckily the Interpol agent had a partner who shows up to help out. Meanwhile, all the prophesies are coming true, red sun, second setting sun setting in the East (really a mirage), and so on.

So they get the Shisa statue in place and it generates a beam that opens up a cliff wall, revealing a sleeping King Caesar.

But he is still sleeping, and that's a problem. So now all grandpa's teachings come into play, and the priestess has to start singing.

Oh god, the singing.

*whimper*

Meanwhile, the other group that went back to try to destroy the ape-aliens' computers fails utterly in that task and gets captured again. And the apes are aware that the priestess is about to wake up King Caesar, so the leader very casually sends Mechagodzilla over to stop her and/or kill the giant lion-dog man. Eh, this and that plan failed, eh, our prisoners got away, eh, they figured out how to open up King Caesar's resting place. I guess Mechagodzilla better get over there and do something. *shrug*

But the singing goes on and on. Mechagodzilla is getting closer and closer but the song keeps going and going. And then, when Mechagodzilla must surely have gotten into firing range by now, the priestess starts wrapping up, and... oh, god, there's a second verse! But finally, miraculously for all involved except for the audience who had to sit though the song, King Caesar finally wakes up before Mechagodzilla can destroy him.

He's a weirdly cute lion-dog guy, of course. I love how his ears perk up.

As we'll see, Mechagodzilla has quite the arsenal. Caesar doesn't have any energy projection powers of his own, but he does have the ability to reflect MG's rainbow blast back at him.

Caesar can attack physically, but he is just a lion-dog thing going up against a heavily armored robot.

And Caesar's reflecting powers don't extend to protecting against Mechagodzilla's various other attacks, like his finger missiles.

Let's see you reflect this, dog!

King Caesar basically is reduced to hiding behind rocks.

I guess the reflection ability wouldn't work on MG's chest laser, either.

Is it safe yet?

Mechagodzilla keeps shoving his hand in King Caesar's mouth.

That's rude!

Luckily for King Caesar, Godzilla shows up.

Godzilla is pretty tough, but he does consistently have problems with flying opponents.

Damn fliers!

Got away again! But don't worry. I've got something for this.

While Mechagodzilla is occupied with Godzilla, King Caesar tries to sneak up on him, but Mechagodzilla has a way of dealing with that.

Wait, what?

In fact, he can launch a barrage of attacks in both directions at once.

And when he needs a break, he can generate a forcefield by spinning his head around rapidly.

But really, the forcefield is unnecessary when he can unleash a torrent of destruction against his two opponents. King Caesar kind of pathetically has to use Godzilla as a shield while Godzilla just stands there and takes it. Finger missiles, toe missiles (neither of which ever seem to run out), and countless laser and rainbow blasts.

I feel cheated. We sat through that interminable song for this?

Godzilla gets pretty bloody from the assault.

Thanks for the "help", King Caesar.

The blood starts shooting out like a geyser. We saw the same effect when one of the gorilla aliens was killed, so the special effects team must have just gotten that device and wanted to make the most of it.

Eventually Godzilla is plugged full of missiles.

But Godzilla has an ace in the hole. He rises to the ground, and expels all the missiles.

And then, starts generating a magnetic pull, affecting the nearby power lines...

...o-kayyy...

...as well as Mechagodzilla, whose mistake was to let up on his battery to launch an aerial assualt.

And that's the latest of Godzilla's Weird Powers. Godzilla, Master of Magnetism.

The alien leader knows what's up.

You're goddamn right he did.

Godzilla pulls Mechagodzilla to him...

...and then he and King Caesar gang up on the robot.

So your head twists around, huh? How's that work? Like this?

Meanwhile, the humans that were being held captive by the ape aliens manage to escape and use the Professors dumb pipe to blow up the alien computer. However that works. (OMG! All the electrodes are dying! DYING!!!) Here's the lead alien as he dies changing back into monkey form. Those horns or whatever on his face freak me out.

Godzilla is blown back into the sea with the final explosion of Mechagodzilla. And i assume he just goes home from there. He's not going to stick around to shake King Caesar's hand or invite him to Monster Island or whatever. King Caesar just wants to go back to his cave and go back to sleep anyway.

King Caesar! What good were you, King Caesar? Hiding behind Godzilla the whole time!

Then the humans are all reunited, and we see the priestess happily running across the island.

Min: Where is she going? Is going to sing again? I will not countenance more singing!
Fnord: She's had enough of living on this backwater island with her fake old granddad. She's running to catch a boat for to the mainland.

Singing aside, this is a great Godzilla film. As much as we love vs. Megalon, i have to admit that this is an uptick in quality. Plenty of ridiculously silly (and fun) stuff, but all new footage, a cool new monster (and King Caesar).

Godzilla Drinking Game
	Someone thinks it's a good idea to drag a giant monster across the ocean on a raft (giant eggs count).
	Attacking planes fly directly at a monster, with no possibility of avoiding a crash even if the monster didn't swat them down.
	People refuse to believe in the existence of a giant monster even though they've already acknowledged that Godzilla exists.
	A submarine explodes.
	Teens have a dance party on a boat. Two drinks/head smacks if they get attacked by a monster during the party.
	The government is completely ineffective when faced with a corporation doing something illegal.	No one even bothers with the local authorities, but hey, at least Interpol is involved.
	A humongous lumbering monster manages to sneak up on someone. Two drinks/head smacks if it's the army and they're supposedly using radar.
	A scientist suddenly figures everything out with little-to-no information and explains it all to everyone.	We've got several of these throughout the movie. All hail the return of the Toho scientists!
	A monster suddenly grows in size just because.
	People expose themselves to major amounts of radiation with no concern.	I don't know about you, but when i see glowing, buzzing pieces of metal laying around in a country known for getting hit with nuclear bombs and for giant radioactive monsters, i don't go picking them up.
	Everyone suddenly knows a monster's name. Two drinks/head smacks if everyone else nods appreciatively and repeats it.	Yep. Professor Miyajima identifies Mechagodzilla by name and then we cut away to the alien leader confirming it.
	Army missiles can't seem to hit a 150+ foot monster and instead explode harmlessly around it.
	A woman falls down for no reason.
	Bad dinosaur science. You have to give a little leeway for the time period, but pretending a children's picture book is a scientific journal is always worth two drinks/smacks.

Monsters Appearing: Anguirus, Godzilla, King Caesar, Mechagodzilla