Alternate Titles: Godzilla vs. Hedorah
Year: 1971
Director: Yoshimitsu Banno
Special Effects Director: Teruyoshi Nakano
In The Suit: Haruo Nakajima (Godzilla), Kenpachiro Satsuma (Hedorah)

Of all the Godzilla films, this one seems to be the most divisive, with people either loving it or hating it. You can count me in the "love it" category, but i understand why people dislike it. It combines an overt environmental message with some really strange film experimentation and then goes for a very cutsey and weird final battle. It's a very psychedelic, very odd movie, but that's what makes it so cool.

Along with Godzilla's Revenge, this was one of the movies that i used to see a lot on television when i was a kid, and i actually thought it was the same kid in both movies. In Revenge there was a kid that could talk to Godzuki, and in this one he's seemingly able to communicate with Godzilla, so for a long while i just assumed there was a kid with telepathic monster talking powers in the Tohoverse. Years later when i watched these movies again i realized that wasn't the case, and i also realized for the first time how weird this movie was, something that i never even noticed as a kid. (I also realized how bad the other movie was, but that's a different story.)

The move starts with same crazy singing from a lady in a psychedelic club (Oh god...)...

...intermixed with scenes of the worst water pollution i've ever seen. What were you people doing in the 70s?

We then go to a kid, Ken, with the biggest Godzilla diorama ever...

...who, when asked by his uncle Yukio Keuchi (played by Toshio Shiba) if Godzilla is his favorite, responds, "He's a superman!".

Ken's father is Dr. Yano (played by Akira Yamauchi), and apparently he's the sort of doctor that the local fishermen bring their stranger finds to. So someone brings him an odd looking tadpole.

Actually, it's the precocious Ken who identifies it as a tadpole. This movie flips the usual "scientist knows everything trope"; it's Ken who is constantly guessing the plot. His father usually begrudgingly acknowledges it a little later.

After receiving the tadpole, the television reports a strange monster - or is it a military weapon? (wait, what?) - attacking the local ships.

So Dr. Yano and Ken go down to the water to investigate. Ken is wearing appropriate clothing: short shorts and flip flops to walk on the slippery rocks while wielding a giant knife. It's always the short shorts. He chips at mussels while his dad scuba dives. Under water, Dr. Yano encounters the monster.

The monster then flies out of the water, but Ken holds up his knife in a really awkward sequence, and the creature impales itself on it and withdraws. Ken is left standing on the shore wondering where his father is, but we next cut away to a scene with them back at home. Although his father has been badly burned.

Dr. Yano will spend the rest of the movie laying there on the floor, barking orders at people. We know it's a Godzilla film because reporters suddenly barge into their home taking pictures. But Dr. Yano is happy to have pictures taken so the world can see the danger the monster represents.

Ken says that he dreamed the name Hedorah, and the next thing we know, newscasters are using that name all over. Ken says that Hedorahs come from sludge, and that again seems to be a fact, as we're shown in one of several cartoons in this film.

After the cartoon we get Godzilla's theme music for this movie, which is not anything that's been used for him in the past and it's this weird downtempo thing with a slide trombone. Sometimes we get a jaw harp thrown in, too.

Godzilla is apparently out there somewhere at the edge of the world, and he's unhappy about what's going into the water, which includes nuclear fallout, sludge, pollution, and even sewage. Ken says in a school paper that if Godzilla saw this he would be mad, and indeed we see Godzilla out there somewhere, yelling angrily and blasting his breath. Because setting garbage on fire with radioactive breath is a good solution.

Dr. Yano gets off the floor for a while to mess with the tadpole that the fisherman brought him. Despite his experience with Hedorah he's not particularly worried about touching the thing with his bare hands. Oh my god can't you put some gloves on?! What kind of scientist are you? Granted the thing has dried up now and is like a piece of coal. He says that the "so-called fish" is actually a mineral, like diamond and other forms of carbon. While he's messing with it, his kid says, "Godzilla is going to come save us, he's going to kill Hedorah!", but Dr. Yano is oblivious to both his wife and child. He shows that if you chip off little pieces of the carbon-fish and put them in water they will come back to life as mini-fishes, and if you put them together in the same dish, they will merge together. We're shown the exact same footage twice in case you were up getting a drink as per the Drinking Game the first time.

Speaking of drinks or other recreational enhancements, let's go back to the psychedelic go-go club. This is where Ken's uncle hangs out. But he's not the only one getting high. Here's Hedorah, sitting outside sucking in fumes from smokestacks.

Godzilla shows up and Hedorah jumps on him. Godzilla goes to punch him and his hand just goes right through it. "Ugh, disgusting, dude. You are not getting invited to Monster Island. You are too gross." As the fight continues, Godzilla picks up Hedorah by his tail and spins him around super fast. This causes little bits of him to go flying off, and for no good reason a bunch of guys gambling in a nearby warehouse get killed.

Brutal.

But back at the club, Uncle Yukio's trip starts going south.

What the hell is going on in this club? Never before has a monster attack been so welcome, because when Hedorah's slime starts pouring down the stairs at least it breaks up the scary fish heads.

The slime eventually withdraws, leaving behind a single kitten.

Do not pick up that cat! How did that cat survive the sludge? It's clearly an evil demon cat!

*nods*

Uncle Yukio apparently uses the confusion in the club to pick up the go-go dancer (Miki Fujiyama, played by Keiko Mari) and she becomes his girlfriend for the rest of the movie. Nice going, Uncle Yukio!

For their first date, he invites her to go outside and watch the two monsters continue their fight. Min tells me that if two giant monsters are fighting near by, i am not allowed to watch.

He totally would, though. He would walk right up and just stand there watching, and get killed by falling debris. Idiot.

This movie is full of hilarious taunts from Godzilla. The best one, used repeatedly, is when he kind of wipes his mouth and then makes a clawing motion in the air. I'm not sure exactly what it means but i know it's insulting.

The taunt of all taunts.

Hedorah on the other hand is apparently still high from the smoke fumes, because he often just stares straight ahead. This confuses Godzilla and so the two of them wind up mostly just staring at each other.

And then after a minute Godzilla shakes his hands or stomps his foot angrily, and finally releases a blast of breath.

Godzilla does not have time for this shit! If you're not going to fight, he's just going to blast you.

When he goes to follow that up with a kick, Hedorah jumps back in to the water. Godzilla follows, shooting his breath weapon almost randomly as he wades through the thick sludge.

After that we go to another cartoon, this time of an anthropomorphic factory grabbing every bit of greenery that sprouts up.

Hedorah eventually comes over and sits on it.

The fight may have seemed relatively benign, but it turns out it wasn't just those gamblers that died. The final toll is 35 dead, 81 injured, and 322 buildings lost. Hedorah produces a mist that corrodes metal, including, apparently, The Thinker.

Dr. Yano and family continue the lead in investigating this stuff. Yano's got Ken picking up all the little bits of Hedorah that were left behind. No gloves or anything. "Pick up all you can, son." He also asks the go-go dancer Miki if Hedorah sparked when Godzilla blasted him with his atomic breath. "Yes, it was very beautiful", is the reply.

The fact that it sucked up smokestacks but didn't eat the cat is mentioned, and Dr. Yano replies, "I know. Hedorah is completely different from all other life on Earth." Miki wonders if Hedorah might actually be the solution to our pollution problems, but Dr. Yano finds that idea to be ridiculous, since Hedorah is much more dangerous, in part because he produces sulfuric gas as a by-product.

Mebbe Hedorah's weak to cats. They should try throwing them at him.

Finally, it's worked out that Hedorah must be a space monster that flew here on a comet.

And that actually explains why Hedorah isn't ever seen on Monster Island. Space Monsters, like Ghidorah and Gigan, aren't allowed there. It's just the rules.

Plus, he's gross.

The next day, Uncle Yukio and Miki take Ken to an amusement park. While he's on the roller coaster, Ken spots (and/or has a telepathic vision of) Godzilla nearby, and realizes that Hedorah is there too. When the rollercoaster stops, Ken jumps off and starts running off. "Oh, he's just so hard to keep up with", says Uncle Yukio, while not making even the slightest attempt.

Hedorah is now flying all over the place, dispensing his smog death wherever he goes.

Uncle Yukio and Miki get stuck in traffic (i guess they decided to just go home without Ken), and find that Hedorah has plopped itself onto the highway and is sucking up all the cars.

Ken meanwhile calls home to his bed-ridden (actually floor-ridden) dad, who tells him to go to the school where his mom is teaching girls aerobics or something. I'm unclear why Ken isn't in school if it's a school day, but i guess he already knows everything. Before Ken gets there, Hedorah flies over the school and the kids drop like flies. Mrs. Yano will later complain to her husband that "that's no learning environment"!

Godzilla eventually catches up with Hedorah...

..and is again disgusted by the amorphous slimy creature.

Godzilla again starts gesticulating wildly. I'm trying to fight you, you jerk. Stop being so gross!

Godzilla eventually passes out due to Hedorah's smoke.

So Hedorah's acidic death spray continues.

Ken runs home. Min wants to know why he's always wearing long-sleeved turtlenecks with shorts.

Mebbe if he wore some pants, he wouldn't need such thick sweaters.

The casualties continue to pile up, with now 1,600 killed and 30,000 injured. Anti-Hedorah Oxygen masks are now being sold.

Uh...how is that going to protect people's skin from melting off?

As they discuss how to get rid of Hedorah, there's an adorable short on nuclear fission.

The Cinemasochist makes the point that this movie helped with the promotion of nuclear energy as a solution to Japan's energy needs in its rapid re-industrialization after World War II. The idea is that Godzilla in this case represents nuclear power instead of the dangers of it, and nuclear energy is the solution to the problems of pollution caused by traditional fossil fuel burning power plants. That's probably true, but it's also said in this movie that Hedorah is "probably flying by means of its own nuclear power. After all, it is a space creature made up of metal components".

Ken knows that the real solution is to dry out Hedorah so that it'll turn back into coal. "It's only sludge", he says.

Uncle Yukio is concerned that Hedorah will climb Mount Fuji...

...so he decides to organize a big party where all the youth of Japan will converge on Fuji and... somehow solve the problem with music.

In the meantime, we get a lecture on Hedorah's evolution so far.

It's said that Hedorah lives in a "negative world of death" and so oxygen might deter its growth.

So to be clear, we now have at least four weapons with which to combat Hedorah: nuclear power, drying it out, music, and oxygen. And cats! Quite an arsenal.

Oh, and then the madness starts. Another weird gimmick in the film. A screen full of multiplying television screens, kind of like the Brady Bunch if the Brady Bunch had images of skulls and a baby in a pool of sludge, crying.

Dr. Yano finds his son's "dry it out" to be the best option of the solutions given, so he calls up the Self-Defense Force (he has them on speed dial), and tells them to set up a big electric screen.

Meanwhile, only 100 people came to Uncle Yukio's hootenanny. He and his friends are first shown in black & white, looking dejected.

But then he suddenly jumps up and says "Why complain about it?" and he and some band mates start jamming on their electric guitars and keyboards, which are presumably powered by a gas burning generator. They also burn huge bonfires.

We love pollution!

Nearby, these guys stand in the weeds and glare at the kids. No idea what they are about.

It's the Children of the Corn 50 years later!

Hedorah flies over to the party too. On his way there, he passes Dr. Yano's house, killing all of Yano's fish and plants (but i guess the air is ok since it does't affect Dr. and Mrs. Yano?).

He then arrives at Mt. Fuji. Ken senses Godzilla too.

Hedorah is said to be 60 meters tall, making him 10 meters bigger than Godzilla.

Godzilla continues with his hand gesture taunts, but Hedorah's movements are more limited, so he can only sort of wave his hand laterally. Sometimes he seems to be doing Tai Chi. But he's still gross, and he lobs some goo in Godzilla's face.

He keeps shifting between his flying form and his new "humanoid" form, and did i mention that he shoots lasers? He shoots lasers.

Sorry these screenshots are all kind of dark.

The Young People stay around, get gassed, throw torches, get slimed, etc.. They are surprisingly more resilient than the people that got hit by Hedorah's gas earlier and got turned into skeletons.

Godzilla has a cool move where he distracts Hedorah by using his tail to hit a rock on the left, and then punches from the right. That would have worked on any other opponent, but not the gooey Hedorah. Sometimes poor Godzilla just kind of stares at Hedorah, like what the hell am i going to do with this guy?

Hedorah eventually grabs Godzilla, flies him halfway up Mt. Fuji and drops him. Godzilla rolls down into a pit which Hedorah fills with his sludge.

It's only at this point that we see that Hedorah is truly evil. He emits a weird laughing sound. Prior to this i was wondering if the thing was just confused or maybe not even intelligent enough to know what it was doing. But the evil laugh is a giveaway.

An army helicopter comes by and drops some "oxygen" on Hedorah, which may have saved Godzilla's life but Hedorah responds by laser-blasting the poor pilots.

The army has set up their electric panels and are ready to lure Hedorah there and hit him with 3 million volts, with power re-routed from nearby parts of the country.

Unfortunately, Godzilla and Hedorah get back to fighting, and they tumble down the mountain and crash into the power lines. Repair Unit One is sent out to fix the line, but they get sat on.

Somehow Hedorah gets lured to the panels, but then he just stands there mesmerized by the truck headlights. And of course the power lines aren't repaired yet anyway. This goes on for a long time, with Hedorah just standing there motionless.

Was the director on LSD? Seeing things we are not?

But Godzilla shows up (accompanied by his trombone music theme song), and blasts the panels with his radioactive breath, casing an electrical flow that zaps Hedorah.

Godzilla is looking pretty beat up at this point. One of his hands looks like it has been charred to the bone.

So i guess he's pretty happy to have Hedorah on the ropes. He sits on top of him and pulls... sphere things out of his body.

I have no idea what to make of this, buddy.

Then he blasts the panels again, causing electricity to dry up the orbs.

Throughout all of this you have Dr. Yano, prone and bandaged in the trunk of his station wagon, barking orders to the military.

Hedorah is seemingly subdued at this point, but Godzilla goes over to check things out, and a slightly smaller Hedorah kind of rips out of the mass of itself on the floor and flies away.

And this is the craziest thing you've ever seen. You may think you're familiar with Godzilla and know his power set. Well, if you haven't seen this movie yet, you probably don't know that Godzilla can fly.

Even if your brain can accept that, it's still hard to imagine him catching up with Hedorah, but he does.

Godzilla crashes into Hedorah, knocks him to ground, and proceeds to pick him up and slam him to the ground repeatedly.

And then he flies Hedorah back to the electrical panels.

All this time, the army repair crew has been working hard to repair the line. And they finally get it done when Godzilla gets back with Hedorah. But when they flip the switch, a fuse blows. And Godzilla gives the army guys a look like, "I can't believe you guys", and uses his breath again.

This time Godzilla is relentless in pulling all the little bits out of Hedorah. I was worried that he was just going to make a lot of little Hedorahs, but i certainly wasn't going to interrupt the big guy. When he done tearing the thing up, he stomps on the pieces. And then he uses his breath a final time to dry up all the bits.

And that's how you fight pollution.

I guess that's all good until the next time it rains and all the Hedorah bits are reconstituted.

When Godzilla is done with the Hedorah, he turns to the army and gives them a glare.

And they all jump like "Oh my god, we're going to have to fight Godzilla now!". But Godzilla's like, "Ah, i'm just kidding, you guys. I'm outta here".

And he heads marches home to a soundtrack of what i can only describe as Japanese cowboy music.

I'm fairly certain Ken's uncle was killed by Hedorah somewhere along the way, but Ken is more concerned about Godzilla leaving, so he just keeps shouting "Godzilla!" as he walks away (and i really wish i had gotten a better screenshot of the crazy outfit Miki is wearing).

But Godzilla is uninterested in being Ken's new uncle. Call me when you guys figure out pollution, kid.

Sorry, kid. It's Gamera that's "friend of all children", not me.

The movie ends with more shots of pollution and another Hedorah emerging. "And yet another one?"

Definitely a weird one, but a lot of fun. It's worth noting that after an increasing amount of re-used footage (culminating in Godzilla's Revenge being more old footage than not), this movie is all new material. And there's all sorts of crazy shots and trick camera work, and all the cartoons and other strangeness that breaks up the movie and keeps your interest. And Hedorah has three distinct forms, and the fights with Godzilla are a lot of fun and pretty crazy. And it's nice to see a message to the movie. The original Toho monster films had some pretty strong allegorical content behind them; it's even more overt here but it's a nice reassertion that these movies aren't just giant monsters beating the crap out of each other. Although that's fine too!

Godzilla Drinking Game
	Someone thinks it's a good idea to drag a giant monster across the ocean on a raft (giant eggs count).
	Attacking planes fly directly at a monster, with no possibility of avoiding a crash even if the monster didn't swat them down.	Yeah, the army helicopter pilots are just divebombing Hedorah. I know helicopters aren't planes, but it's close enough.
	People refuse to believe in the existence of a giant monster even though they've already acknowledged that Godzilla exists.
	A submarine explodes.
	Teens have a dance party on a boat. Two drinks/head smacks if they get attacked by a monster during the party.
	The government is completely ineffective when faced with a corporation doing something illegal.
	A humongous lumbering monster manages to sneak up on someone. Two drinks/head smacks if it's the army and they're supposedly using radar.
	A scientist suddenly figures everything out with little-to-no information and explains it all to everyone.	I'm giving Ken an honorary "scientist" role for this film, but his father pulls plenty of crazy-but-true stuff out of his ass too.
	A monster suddenly grows in size just because.
	People expose themselves to major amounts of radiation with no concern.	Well, it's not radiation, but Ken and his dad are pretty nonchalant about exposing themselves to bits of Hedorah when it's known touching the stuff can turn you into a skeleton.
	Everyone suddenly knows a monster's name. Two drinks/head smacks if everyone else nods appreciatively and repeats it.	Word of Ken's naming of Hedorah spreads across the country like a wildfire.
	Army missiles can't seem to hit a 150+ foot monster and instead explode harmlessly around it.
	A woman falls down for no reason.
	Bad dinosaur science. You have to give a little leeway for the time period, but pretending a children's picture book is a scientific journal is always worth two drinks/smacks.

Monsters Appearing: Godzilla, Hedorah